Stop telling kids to choose a career

A few weeks ago, I had a huge parenting win. I received this text from my 13 year old. 

She’s listening!

And she feels the calm trust within herself to explore. To not rush the process. To play and experiment.

To be a kid.

Now I know there are kids who feel like they have a calling. They want to be doctors. Or actors or astronauts. At 9, I said I wanted to be a therapist–and my gut instinct wasn’t too far off.

Yet, even when a kid appears to be heading in a straight line, it benefits all of you to validate that hunger and drive AND also note early and often–there are a lot of things you can be that will give you the thing you’re looking for in being a doctor. It’s a clue, but it doesn’t have to be an answer. Especially not the only answer.

My work with clients and the challenges that show up in our sessions helped me to develop this approach to parenting and career with my kids. It also makes me dig in further as they get older.

Many clients show up stressed that…

They never figured out what they wanted to be when they grew up.

They spent time and money becoming [insert career path] and they don’t want to leave their profession.

They’re bored doing what they’re doing but they can’t picture doing anything else–because they never have.

Their work is tangled up with their identities. Who would they be without it?

We are winning when we teach our kids to focus on their interests, their strengths and their quirky personality traits that make them who they are. With that self-awareness and some gentle guidance from you and other experts who can show them what’s possible, expose them to different career paths and they will find their own answers.

And it may take some shitty jobs, experiencing what they don’t want to get clarity on what they do want. Most of us have had those and we’ve lived to tell the tale.

If we put the pressure on too early, we cut them off from their natural creativity. And they will need this creativity time and time again as their windy career paths unfold.

Careers have many more transitions than they once did, so the tools of reflecting, experimenting with clues and taking risks jumping into new roles–will be MORE important to their careers than the specific paths they choose.

Here for you and your thoughtful kids declining to answer school surveys that limit their futures.

Why you’re applying for the wrong roles

Often when people first come to me, they share stories of interviews that felt just ok and rejections that came shortly after those meetings.

My response: Did you want the job?

Well…Long pause.

So, that’s a no. We both smile and agree.

Now, financial needs are real – and sometimes you need to get a new job immediately even if it’s a temporary measure to meet your financial responsibilities.

Yet, I find that people often apply to roles they don’t want – even when they’re not in a rush or in a financial crunch.

Guess what – even if you think you’re putting on a great show during the interview, it still comes through. In body language, in things that aren’t said, in energy. Any emotionally intelligent leader will see through even your best performance.

So why do many apply for the wrong roles?

Impostor syndrome and a fear of change.

And it’s this struggle with worthiness and uncertainty that cuts off their self-awareness at the knees.

They jump straight into the tactical action of doing, skipping the most important inner work steps that require…

Slowing down

Thinking and reflecting

Clarifying priorities and desires

Gathering data on strengths

From this essential work and only from here do the purposeful dots connect, does the energy rise from within and adhere to intentional paths.

The truth feels real in conversations, in interviews because it is real.

And the traction, the momentum, the optimism also becomes real.

This is the work I do with clients in the first month of my 1:1 Coaching Program. So if you’ve been on the hunt for a while and you know you’re applying to roles you don’t want – let’s talk in a complimentary 30-min zoom call.

I can’t wait to show you what it feels like when you actually hope you get it!

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March Office Hours: Open to ALL!

This 60-minute session is an opportunity for you to drop in and ask career questions, make connections, or simply say hi. Typically these sessions are reserved for current and former clients, but this session will be open to all.

How to Find Companies that Align with Your Career Values + Goals

There comes a time in a job search, where (after gathering some real time data) my clients believe me when I say – proactive networking is a more effective strategy than simply applying to roles on LinkedIn.

Then, some of them can get stuck right here.

So, where do I even look?

How do I find companies (outside of the usual suspects) that would align with what I’m looking for in a corporate culture or will offer opportunities to learn and grow within the organization?

Your two best resources in this hunt for the right-fit company are: your people and AI.

Your people: Your first round of networking will not be about finding “a job”, but more about crowdsourcing companies.

Who are your colleagues and friends in your network who appreciate and respect their organizations?

Who do you know who is well connected in the industry you want to be a part of?

Set a goal to identify 10-15 companies in this first round of networking and then ask your people for introductions within those companies.

AI: ChatGPT and Claude are also formidable thought partners in this exercise. I work with clients on the right prompts that get at their criteria for their "crush companies"…as I like to call them. A few recent prompts…

What are ten well reviewed organizations that are helping high school and college students live better lives?

What are ten companies in the NYC area that hire product management roles and prioritize professional development and work-life balance?

What are ten companies in NYC that don't think we need more masculine energy?

They’re not always perfect results – and they rarely get the joke, but they offer up a place to start your research. Overall – that’s how I’m currently working with AI in this process. I don’t accept the responses wholesale, but they often do get me unstuck and to a next step where I can deepen my understanding.

Let me know how these two approaches or a combination of them works for you in coming up with your list.

Job Searchers: what’s not working?

I hear from many job searchers who’ve been at it for a loooong time.

Whether it’s 6 months, a year or longer, this process takes a lot of energy! When the rejections roll in – or worse – when you keep getting ghosted, it can make you want to quit the process altogether.

Then, you’re back where you started. In a toxic workplace. Being passed over the promotion.

Career purgatory.

I see you job searchers.

This process is hard.

Yet – sometimes the challenge you’re facing in the search and what’s preventing you from getting traction is more about making some SMALL tweaks in your approach instead of a complete reinvention of who you are and what you want to do.

That’s where I come in.

After guiding hundreds of job searchers through this process, I can listen to the approach you’ve been taking, the pitch you’ve been using and witness the areas your interviews may be going off the rails.

There’s no shame. No blame. No judgement.

Again – this is hard and you’re putting in the effort. Let’s work together to get you the results.

I’m so excited to have a new way we can work together on this job search diagnostic.

If you:

• Already know one, two or three paths you want to head down

• Have a resume that’s getting you some interviews

• Have been in a process or two where you’ve been one of the final two candidates and still didn’t get the job. (Always a bridesmaid!)

I can help you with my new coaching package - Career Flex.

Career Flex includes three 45-minute 1:1 sessions where we dive into what’s working and what’s not in your search to help you make small shifts that make a BIG difference.

Whether it’s asking your network for help, shifting your pitch to include your strengths and differentiators or learning to pause when you complete an answer in an interview – there are so many different ways we can shift your approach.