Career Shift Blog
by Rachel B. Garrett
How to ask for what you want...(with examples!)
Early in my coaching process, I work with clients on their non-negotiables.
What are the five things they need to make this next role feel meaningful, successful and on their terms?
Defining the kind of organizational culture they’re seeking (ie. collaborative, casual, no assholery) or the level of flexibility they need (ie. hybrid, remote, or simply to be treated like a grownup) often come up on the list.
It’s helpful to have this criteria in your back pocket as you’re evaluating opportunities. And – it’s critical that you vet out for these things in your networking and interviewing.
The question I often get is - How do I ask for these things without sounding like an entitled jerk?
After I stare down our Capitalist, Patriarchal, Hustle Culture with an invitation to fight this round, I take a deep breath.
I understand.
We have been taught to be grateful for what we get and not ask for more. Even when what we are given is not working or not enough.
The good news is that we can be clever and play the game without ever using the words want or need. That marketing background never disappoints.
Here are a couple of phrases you can use that are positive, confident – and also matter of fact.
"I thrive…"
I thrive in organizational cultures where there’s downtime between meetings to do the deep work that is so important in my role. Is that how you would describe the culture here?
Or
I thrive when I can give and receive feedback often so that I can continue to learn quickly in my role. Is that how you would describe your leadership style?
"I am my most…"
I am my most creative when I can brainstorm in a room of colleagues and it feels safe to pull all ideas (even the out there ones) on the table. Is that how you would describe the culture on the team?
Or
I am my most focused and thoughtful when I can work hard during the day and then log off completely to recharge after 6:30. Is that the kind of work day that’s understood and respected here?
I love all of these examples because they imply –
I’ve had this before so I know it’s possible.
If you don’t have it here, I will keep looking until I find it.
Now, just because you have these lines written out doesn’t mean it’s easy to say them. I would practice so you remember hearing them in your voice and perhaps write an abridged version of your questions on a cheat sheet if you have a virtual interview.
You know I love an update so let me know how it goes!
Listening and shifting in 2025
This coming March marks the 10 year anniversary of my business. What???
It’s truly hard to believe that I’ve been nurturing, imagining–and at times strong-arming this business into what I want it to be for a full decade.
I continue to learn something new each year.
I continue to be in awe of the clients I get to serve.
And one of my unexpected joys of running the biz is my weekly note to you. Whether you were one of the 100 OG’s who signed up in year one or a more recent friend, I appreciate you, hang on your every reply and want to do my best to deliver ideas that shift your day, your week–or your career even just a little.
But–that’s not how I felt at the beginning.
When a business coach told me that I MUST start a newsletter back in 2015–for marketing purposes–I had my first new entrepreneur tantrum. You may remember I was leaving a career in marketing, so more marketing was not top of my priority list.
But–I listened.
I wrote. From my heart. In my way.
It became my place to put all the pieces together.
To create art out of work.
Now, ten years in, I want to keep listening and learning and helping you imagine work that fits with the life you want to be living.
You are the expert of you and how you want to grow.
So, what might that be? I’d love to know! Feel free to reply with some career topics that have resonated in past newsletters or are of interest to you for your 2025 career moves.
And speaking of your 2025 career moves, I’m excited to share that I’ll be introducing a couple of new ways we can work together this year.
It’s clear–some of you have been job searching for a bit already (2025 is your year!) and are seeking shorter packages where we can troubleshoot the areas that are not working in this tricky market. Message received. More information on this to come!
Thank you for being part of my ten year celebratory listening tour.
Proactive Job Search Series: Part 4
How to know your proactive approach is working…
How to know your proactive approach is working…
In this final part of our series, we’re discussing…how you know when your proactive approach is working.
Finding a job is a long (typically 3-6 month), multi-step process.
If we only celebrated the win of – getting the actual job, we would NOT make it through the entire process intact.
There are small milestones (that are actually big milestones) we can check off our lists and small wins (again, truly transformational wins) we must honor along this journey. Are you picking up what I’m putting down here?
No incremental step forward in this proactive approach should be underestimated as small. These are seismic shifts that lead you to a different kind of career and life–one that is on your terms and designed by you.
Here are 10 of the hundreds of shifts along the way that I celebrate with clients…
When you invest the time to think about and write down the work you enjoy doing and what you’d like to learn.
When you’re clear on your superpowers and the unique value you can bring to an organization and your work.
When you can talk about your superpowers. Out loud. With another human.
When you do the research on salaries of employees with similar skillsets and expertise and you decide you will ask for AT LEAST that amount.
When you write an elevator pitch that feels so very you and when you share it with people they say…”Damn…you really know who you are and what you want!” This actually happened with a client on call the other day!
When your network is sending you the right kinds of roles and making very relevant introductions for you. You’ve been so clear with them that they know how to help!
When you have your first interview in 5 years and it wasn’t perfect, but you got a few solid answers in and…you didn’t die.
When you don’t get the role you were interviewing for, but they say they want you to apply for other roles at the company. I promise, they DO NOT need to say that and WOULD NOT if they didn’t believe it.
When you feel like you’re meeting interesting and talented people in the process with whom you want to continue to be in touch.
When you feel momentum. You’re getting the right kinds of meetings. You’re confident in how you’re telling your story and your intuition tells you, you’re getting close. In my experience, clients often want to be cautiously optimistic at this moment, but their intuition is usually correct. If it’s not the role in front of you, it’s on its way.
Now, of course–for most of my goal-oriented clients–the new job is the SUPER WIN. And they get there, sometimes in the 3 months we’re working together and sometimes after.
Yet with all of these micro wins (that are really macro) along the way, they feel changed by the time they get to the actual J-O-B. They’ve claimed their power. They feel agency in their decision. They are ready to expand into this change with courage, as they are.
Proactive Job Search Series: Part 3
When your network is tiny or non-existent…
Welcome to part 3 of our Proactive Job Search Series! If you’re someone who considers your network to be teeny tiny or if you’re asking the question–what the f*ck is a network–you’re not alone and there is still time to build one so that you can be proactive about your job search or building a career on your terms.
You may not have a network if you:
Are a recent graduate and early on in your career.
Have worked for a single company for your entire career.
Have worked for companies and institutions that are more focused on jobs and tasks rather than relationships
Haven’t had time for conversations outside of work and family relationships.
Recently moved to a new town or city.
Wherever you are is a fine place to start. Self judgment or a focus on what you “should have done” is not helpful for moving forward.
We start with compassion.
So take yourself off the gazillion job postings and let’s focus the time you DO have on building out your professional network.
If you have a small network, here’s where to start?:
Connect with your alumna networks from the schools you’ve attended. Do they have local in-person or virtual events you can go to? Are there other alumni in your field who you can connect with on LinkedIn or for a coffee?
If you have kids in school, get to know the other working parents. What do they do? Where do they work? Do they enjoy
Find a networking group or meetup that relates to an interest or part of your identity. For example, I have clients that belong to local working mother groups or groups for marketing professionals or teachers. Also, some of my Queer clients belong to LGBTQ+ professional groups like Out Professionals or Lesbians Who Tech.
Find one or two people who are connectors (like me!). There may be someone in your life who LOVES to bring people together, make introductions and play professional matchmaker. Have a chat with this person and see who else they may be able to introduce you to (people in your industry, at companies that interest you, who’ve made similar transitions). These are what I call high impact conversations because you walk away with 5 or 6 new introductions. FYI–this is part of what I offer clients when they’re working with me. I like to introduce them to people within my network who are often very generous with their time (Thank you, network!).
Once you have spent some time expanding your network, then I would begin applying to roles that are connected to these people within your new and growing community. #team[NAME]
In our last part of the Proactive Job Search Series, we’re going to discuss small wins and how to know when you’re making progress–before you actually land the new job.