How Your Parents Still Shape Your Career Decisions (And What to Do About It)

A pattern I see with every client, regardless of age: their parents come up in our sessions. Every. Single. Time.

Whether my clients are 25 or 55, their family's influence on career choices runs deep. Here are the three most common patterns I observe:

The "Safety First" Legacy

Some clients are still making peace with families who prioritized stability above all else. They were pushed toward "safe" careers that never aligned with their natural strengths or genuine interests. The result? A lingering sense that they're living someone else's vision of success.

The "Passion Pressure" Paradox

Others grew up watching parents who were absolutely lit up by their work—sharing passionate stories at the dinner table night after night. These clients carry an invisible burden: When will I find MY passion? Why is it taking so long? The comparison becomes paralyzing.

The Financial Rollercoaster Effect

Then there are those who lived through the uncertainty of a parent's entrepreneurial journey or inconsistent income. They learned early how to contract their needs during lean times. This childhood instability often lives in the body, driving fear-based career decisions decades later.

This last pattern hits close to home for me.

My father built a thriving plus-size dress company when I was young—he was truly ahead of his time. But when I was 9, everything shifted. The business collapsed, and he had to dissolve the company entirely.

It was the first time I saw my father cry.

That business meant everything to him, especially since his own father had mentored him in that world before passing away just as Dad was finding his first taste of success. Suddenly, he faced a complete career reinvention with two young kids and a lifestyle we could no longer afford.

He pulled us out of debt by transitioning to life insurance sales—the perfect blend of his natural sales ability, need for autonomy, and desire for stability within a larger organization's infrastructure.

But here's how it affected my career:

For years, I dreamed of entrepreneurship but couldn't imagine facing that level of instability. I chose steady paychecks over pursuing my vision, trading my dreams for what felt like safety.

Eventually, I found ways to move through that fear—building self-belief, getting granular with my financial data, and creating multiple income streams.

Do I still have moments when income dips and I wonder if it's all falling apart? Absolutely.

That's when I remind myself: I'm letting old family stories drive current decisions.

I breathe through it, seek support, and make adjustments—because running a business requires creativity, and I love the life I get to live.

Questions for Your Own Reflection:

• What was your family's story about work?

• Which memories still live in your body and influence your career decisions?

• What would you pursue if you could be free of their opinions?

• Where do you wish they had provided more guidance instead of leaving you to figure it out alone?

Start here: Notice your rigidly held career beliefs that lack current evidence. These often trace back to family stories that shaped your worldview.

Explore these patterns with compassion. Remember, they came from people trying to keep you safe.

Now that you ARE safe—what's next?

What’s your career vision?

A few weeks ago I was wrapping up the 2025 cohort of my Career Command Four-Month Shift program. It's hard to believe it's already that time of year!

We were discussing feedback on the program and ways I could continue to improve it. Being someone who likes to jump into action quickly, I threw out to the group, "What if I make the program shorter?"

And I heard a unanimous, "NOOOOO!"

The time and space to pause and reflect, to investigate and discuss, to imagine and explore – this was what they needed most. Many of them said they wanted even more of it.

Now, I know not everyone can take months to reflect and experiment. If you're in a toxic workplace that's harming your mental health, or you're unemployed and need income immediately, you'll need to focus on tactical job search strategies right away. Even then, some career visioning will help guide your search – but the timeline is different.

Yet for those of you who are…

• In roles you mostly like but you’re getting that nudge for a change.

• In an industry that is shifting, but you’re not sure when you should make the move.

• On a career break and want to return to paid work at your own pace.

I’m excited to say, I have something new for you. 

Did I mention I like to get into action quickly? May my action support your time to pause and dream. 

Introducing…

Career Clarity Sessions

This virtual group program brings together 6-8 women ready to gain career clarity and assess their readiness for change.

We will meet for 60-minute sessions on Tuesdays at 12pm ET: July 8, 15, 22, and 29

You will walk away from the 4 week program with a clear understanding of:

• What's currently working for you and what’s not in your career

• Your level of readiness and a timeframe to make a shift

• The thoughts holding you back from making the change and tools to navigate them

• A vision for a content, full and balanced-ish life

• A plan to connect with your people so they can help you step into that life

In addition to the live group sessions, I’ve also created  30 days of journal prompts to deepen your discovery of your career desires and what’s holding you back from going after them. 

The cost of the program is $575 or two payments of $300. This is an excellent value and one of the lowest priced options available to work with me right now. 

Ready to start imagining your next chapter?

Career Change Tools for Life

Some of my favorite emails I receive are from former clients who share:

“I was reviewing my notes from the work we did three years ago and  I smiled realizing again that my role now is everything I said I wanted (but wasn’t sure I could have) back then.”

Or

“I got a new role that’s a great fit (yes, through networking!) and I used all of the tools you taught me in my last search for this latest change. They remain so important to me!”

That’s the goal. You internalize the tools. I work myself out of a job. 

Some may say that’s not the best business strategy, but I haven’t found that to be true. 

This way, I get to help more people. 

And the people I help, build self-trust and faith in their own ability to move confidently into any career shift. They have a step-by-step process in their back pocket–and practice experimenting in the midst of uncertainty. 

Oftentimes this agency in their careers translates to advocating for themselves in romantic partnerships, to setting different boundaries in friendships, to making time for a creative project–just because it’s energizing and not because it has side-hustle potential. 

Be warned–the side effect of defining your terms and unapologetically negotiating for them in your career, is that you will believe you are worthy of those terms in all areas of your life. 

I don’t promise those results on our initial call, but I’m so grateful when I get the updates on the ripple effect, months or years after we’ve completed our work. 

Here for you when you’re ready to find your agency in your career–and in your life

Some Side-Hustle Ideas to Help You With All That Money Anxiety

I’m beyond thrilled to be featured in The Cut – talking all things side hustle. Their rise in popularity, the why behind the ones that work and many ideas for folks to start thinking about how to launch their own.

Read the article and get your side-hustley juices flowing…

Some Side-Hustle Ideas to Help You With All That Money Anxiety

I had so much fun contributing to this article and full transparency was brimming with ideas about the potential of having more than one revenue stream in these unstable times.