Grieving with You

This week has been hard.

For me. For you. For a world divided, watching humans die and suffer without a quick answer for a way to make it stop.

As a Jew, a mom, and still the child who lost her parents tragically and without warning – hearing the horrific details of this massacre of innocent lives – I’ve been frozen and numb and without words since Saturday.

Yet, also as a Progressive Reform Jew, I’m part of a community that has a deep, spiritual connection to Israel and also fights for peace and empathy and justice for Jews and Palestinian people in this holy land and beyond.

In my opinion, the complexities of this moment make it exactly the wrong debate to have on social media. The nuance, the dualities I’m holding can not fit, nor do they belong on a meme. And so I won’t be engaging in that conversation on the socials.

But here in this community we’ve built, where I can take some time and space to say the hard things, even when we don’t agree on every point – it feels important to share where I’m at.

I don’t have any answers and I’m not an expert on this topic so I will never claim to be.

I do have the heaviest heart and grieve the losses with you.

I do wish I could hug those babies who lost their parents and say – you don’t deserve this. This is not your fault. You didn’t “have it coming.”

For those of you who feel more scared to walk through your lives as a Jew than you did last Friday, sadly, I share that fear with you.

And for those of you who are saying – I’m going to continue to live my life and not show them any fear – I want to continue to learn from you.

Thank you to the beautiful people in my life who are not Jewish and reached out to me this week to check in. I appreciated those notes and love and prayers more than you know.

I will continue to support you in your career journeys in this newsletter next week and do my own work and take my own action in this crisis more privately.

I encourage you to take your own time to share your words and your feelings. You are taking time to process and to do your best – in your own way.

Does your career need a little TLC?

Have you ever wondered how to maintain a career that truly energizes you? I got you.

My one-hour virtual workshop in collaboration with Park Slope Parents is now available for purchase for only $25!

The “Growing A Meaningful Career Workshop” is packed with actionable insights and strategies that will empower you to take control of your career journey. From nurturing essential relationships to making calculated risks, enhancing your personal brand, and much more, this workshop covers it all.

In this workshop, we cover…

Nurturing Key Relationships: Discover the power of cultivating meaningful professional connections that can propel your career forward.

Calculated Risks: Learn how to embrace strategic risk-taking to open up new opportunities and expand your horizons.

Optimizing Your Personal Brand: Find out how to present yourself in a way that resonates with your values and goals, building a compelling personal brand.

Taking the Call: Understand why taking that interview call at least once a year, even when you're not actively seeking a change, can be a game-changer for your career.

It's essential to take charge of your career journey, not just during a transition, but consistently and intentionally.

Growing a Meaningful Career means ongoing self-assessment, strategizing, and taking steps to ensure your career remains fulfilling and aligned with your aspirations.

Waiting for the job offer? Here's what to do.

Waiting. It’s the absolute worst part.

You’ve been through multiple rounds of interviews, received great feedback, they’ve checked your references. You’ve followed up with the powers that be. And yet, there you are. You’re still waiting.

There are MANY reasons these situations happen. Most of them have nothing to do with you.

So, what do you do?

Focus on what you can control.

Hiring freezes, reorganizations, re-prioritizations…and even vacations happen. These things are all out of your control. So focusing your energy on any of these things – or your paranoia of what could be happening is not productive.

What is within your control is tending to other existing processes that are in play AND drumming up new opportunities with outreach to your network.

New conversations. Leads. Possibilities.

So, if this one goes away – which I hope it doesn’t (but it might) – you have the feeling that you still have momentum elsewhere. You’re not starting from scratch.

When you put all of your effort into one process and it goes away…it can feel devastating. Even paralyzing. Please, please don’t do this. It will set back your timeline and it will be tough to recover.

When you move forward with the mindset of - detached optimism - when you have multiple possibilities moving at once, you stay nimble and resilient if rejection comes your way.

I wish I could say you could move through this process without rejection. Sadly, that’s rare. But, if you expect it’s coming and you prepare for it – each hit can be felt and absorbed without taking you out of the game.

Authentic vs. Executive Presence

Early on in my business, in addition to my 1:1 work, I facilitated 2-hour workshops on Executive Presence to rooms filled with aspiring women leaders.

At the time, I felt my own impostor syndrome sneaking up – standing in front of 30 women, telling them to focus on eye contact, watch their filler words and reign in their body language – when I was struggling with the very same “challenges.”

While I absolutely believed in my mission to advance women into positions of power and I knew this was part of the work to get them to “fit into these roles” and “play the part” there was always something about the work that felt uncomfortable for me.

Reading this now – the problems seem so obvious, but full transparency, 8 years ago – it wasn’t clear. I thought there was something a little bit wrong with me for struggling to conform to the “Executive Presence” standards set for me. Just as I was telling these women, there was something a little bit wrong with them.

That they had to change themselves to fit the culture.

Be something that wasn’t who they were.

What I see now is that this discomfort was leading me somewhere important. A place I needed to grow.

A place where I was enough. I was worthy of being who I am and sharing my message in my way.

And the patriarchal systems that don’t support me, accept me, require that I stay small – must change.

What does it look like to break the rules of Executive Presence as we’ve been taught so we can show up with Authentic Presence?

Do we truly need to pretend to be white men to lead, or can we use our gifts without bending who we are, inspiring others to do the same?

Showing up authentically requires walking directly into the fire of fear, realizing–not everyone is going to like it and you don’t need to be for everyone.

I can be here for the people who are here for me. And it’s enough.