Time Away To Break Free Of Routines

I just spent 9 days in California and returned home Sunday. It was a joy and a dream to see childhood friends and be with so many people I love for both milestone events and some R&R.

Full transparency – it was also a little hard for this routine-loving woman.

I’ve always loved routine and structure in my life and the past three years of managing through a pandemic have made me cling to my routine for dear life.

Somehow I’ve naturally gravitated toward structure as a way to stay grounded, hopeful and optimistic.

Having the same breakfast, listening to the same podcasts, doing the same exercise routine, talking to the same friends and family on the phone (yes, talking not texting!).

All of it seems to calm my body and help me move forward.

Yet, I know it also keeps me a weee bit rigid.

Holding onto my routines with an iron grasp during the pandemic has brought on some discomfort and even fear of mixing it up. Of change, of doing things a different or new way. Of not being in control. And while I have compassion for where it came from, I’m very open and interested in moving through it…and fast.

So, in my time away, I worked through some of the discomfort by just getting open and curious and reminding myself – I am with a lot of people who love me (who are feeding me REALLY WELL) and I will figure it out. Plus,…I’m someone who actually likes change, so this is a funny one to address!

Now that I’m home, I’m watching myself jump back into my boxes. I am embracing structure yet again, but also remembering the lightness that emerged as I pushed through it in my time away.

I’m finding moments to choose flexibility in my NYC life – even when it feels hard.

And I’m snuggling with my dog because I missed that little guy more than any routine!

The Impossible 5 Year Plan

If there’s one life and career question I strongly dislike, it’s, "What’s your 5 year plan?"

What the what now?

I’ve been reflecting on this recently as I prepped for my mostly vacation week in the Bay Area. I’m actually Cali now. The last time I was here was in 2017 and holy shit, a lot has changed since then.

We lost two critically important people in our family after an intense 5 years of caregiving.
We lived through nearly 3 years of a life-altering pandemic.
We stepped into new schools, new jobs and an ever-evolving business.

Sure, I could have had a 5 year plan, but it would have been at odds with the way my life was progressing. I would have been less flexible. Less adaptive. Less nimble to live the life that was unfolding.

Now, I’m not saying…just let life happen to you.

I’m reinforcing, know what’s important to you right now, reflect on who you want to be and how you want to be in the world.

Think about the impact you want to have in your community and in the world and with some broad strokes set some intentions. Think about what that looks like in your every day – and how you want it to look on the day you leave this earth.

For those of you who feel guided and supported by a 5 year plan, it’s good you know what works for you.

Also, for those of us who have felt shame (mostly because in reality we have been shamed) for not having one – I beg of you, release that right now. It’s not serving you just as the concept of the plan never served you.

Join me in short-term planning and long term intentions (with readiness to pivot on both).

Together, let’s imagine ripping up the plans we never had in our minds and moving forward anyway.

Embracing Mistakes

Two weeks ago, I woke up on a Saturday to learn an email that I was supposed to send to 6 people, was sent to nearly 1000.

Gulp.

A few years ago I would have spent some QT in a shame spiral, wondering why I even bother with this entrepreneurial journey or marketing or building a community or [insert high stakes part of my life here].

But, instead I took some time to write an email apologizing and acknowledging what it feels like to make a mistake so publicly.

It felt honest and compassionate and human. All the ways I strive to show up for the people in my life. I wrapped it up by late morning and took a walk in the park.

I returned to the most beautiful responses flooding my inbox.

“Thank you for modeling how to move through making mistakes. I struggle with this!”
“This email is probably one of my favorite Rachel emails.”
“I love this and I love you.”

It made me realize how hungry we are to live in a world where we can make mistakes without punishing ourselves. How we can learn to do better and also be clear with our people.

It also reminded me of my gratitude for you and all you’ve seen me through over the years as we learn together.

I will never promise to be 100% perfect. Yet, I will always be 100% committed to this work, supporting you and breaking the cycle of expecting something from any of us that’s unattainable.

Ambition, to what end?

Lately I’ve been wrestling with the idea of ambition. While I’ve worked hard throughout my life, every time I’ve tried on the word ambition, it never seemed to fit.

In truth, it always smelled a bit like gaslighting.

At the heart of the American Dream, it’s the lore we tell and retell to justify long work hours at the expense of personal health, happiness and wellbeing.

So, when I hear some of my clients fear they’ve lost their ambition in the busyness of early parenthood or in the endlessness of the pandemic, I say…

Or…maybe you woke up to what’s important to you in your life right now, your true priorities.

Ambition, to what end?

For me, instead of ambition there’s…

Curiosity

Meaning

Impact

Creativity

Relationships

If you’re waking up to the fact that your ambition may be on someone else’s terms or definition of success, I invite you to think about how you can recalibrate so that you’re working toward what’s important to you.

For those of you who do connect with the word ambition…and no shade if you do.
I’m curious to hear what it means to you and how it works as a driver in your career and life.