Leave This Self-Shaming Statement in 2021

In my groups and 1:1 coaching, one self-shaming statement comes up over and over again…

I’m [insert any age from 20 to 100] and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! 

That’s typically followed by…

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I so behind?

What if I never figure it out? 

Here’s today’s truth bomb:

You may never figure out what you want to be when you grow up. 

Boom. I said that 🤷🏻‍♀️

That very statement implies there’s only one thing you’re meant to do! I call BS. 

You may not have a “calling” AND you can still enjoy your work. You can learn and you can feel good about your career and your life. 

So, if I told you, the lightning bolt may not hit you and that it feels more like a small spark that slowly grows and grows into a fiery, flickering flame anyway…

What would you do differently? 

What would you experiment with?

What would you leave behind? 

If you feel like you’re ready to figure out how to start paying attention to those itty bitty sparks already burning within you, contact me to schedule a 30-minute complimentary clarity call!

Prioritizing the Person I Want To Be

How’s week two of Dark Omicron January 2022?

I’m back to a "taking it day by day" place. No sudden movements. No big plans.

We’ll see what today brings. And, I’ll think about tomorrow…tomorrow.

I’m not much of a resolutions kind of person and yet there are a few things I want to commit to in the new year.

Instead of identifying an end goal that I can check off or a destination I can reach to meet these commitments, I’m experimenting with the James Clear, Atomic Habits, approach. Thinking about the kind of person I want to be and then making the kind of choices that kind of person would make.

Many of you have heard me say that I want to write a memoir or publish a collection of personal essays. Yet, while I write this weekly newsletter, there are no essays and there is no memoir.

Yet.

Putting this big goal out there. This destination of the big ass book of stories that are currently rolling around in my mind, for whatever human reason has not happened. I mean, I haven’t made it happen.

So, with this new experiment, I’m trying on being a writer instead of equating success as the (overwhelming) goal of the completed, published book that could potentially take years to write and edit.

I asked myself, "How would a writer approach this desire?" And I came up with an oh-so-complicated response.

She would write.

She would prioritize a writing practice and do it even when she didn’t want to write or didn’t have anything interesting to say.

So that’s what I’ve been doing since December 24th (but who’s counting). To get into my writing flow, I’ve started a Morning Pages practice every morning. For those unfamiliar with this simple tool from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, you write three full pages in the am…with no intention, with no goal or audience.

Miraculously, when I remove the pressure of the end goal, I allow myself the space to do the damn thing I’ve been wanting to do. I’m loving the quiet, the stillness, and the time to do this energizing thing. Where it will go, I’m not sure. But each day I build confidence, knowing I acknowledged I wanted something and amidst dodging the latest Covid variant…I’m making it a priority.

What kind of person do you want to be?

A learner. A helper. A changemaker.

What choices would you make and what habits would you build if you thought of yourself as that person?

If you’re ready to take the next step in making those shifts, set up some time in a 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call and we can help you get there together.

Why I’m Proud of Myself: 2021 Edition

It’s been one long year. I know I said that (and we all said that) about 2020. And yet, rounding out year two of this pandemic has been overwhelming, disappointing, confusing, exhausting and all 83 of the other emotions and experiences Brené Brown writes about in her latest book, Atlas of the Heart. Damn straight I’m reading that right now--and I highly recommend that you do too to make meaning of this cluster of a year.

And yet still, I feel hopeful. Optimistic. Grateful for so many things in my life and work.

One way I find my way back to hope is to review my year and take an inventory of my moments of pride. Moments I’ve shown up for my people and my work, despite all the obstacles.

Of course, there are moments I could have done better. There always will be. I’m human after all. Yet focusing on these moments sends me spinning, rather than building momentum along my path.

So, here I am. Documenting my top five list of what I did well. And you can do the same as a reminder of all you’re capable of accomplishing...and being.

1. After four years of coordinating care for my Uncle Ray who struggled with Parkinson’s for over 25 years, I helped guide him through his last days listening to his favorite jazz tunes, hearing the words from people who loved him and receiving the best care possible to ease the transition.

2. Even with the experience and memories of my own fraught Bat Mitzvah that was just one year after I lost both my parents in a car accident, I supported, loved and cheered on my daughter through her Bat Mitzvah milestone. It was also complex with covid restrictions--and yet in some ways the intimacy and the sole focus on the ceremony made it even more meaningful.

3. I experimented with and launched new, lower cost ways of working with women to broaden my impact and serve more women whose careers suffered the most during the pandemic. It was out of my comfort zone to talk about what I do and sell my programs at this scale--and yet at the end of it were women getting new opportunities, claiming their worth, making more money and believing in the possibilities that were out there for them.

4. I created a podcast! A dream of mine for the past seven years. Yay!

5. I lived and parented another year in a pandemic, making hundreds of risk assessments every day, setting boundaries and sticking with them even when others didn’t like my lines. I advocated for my lines, worked hard to keep my family safe and jumped to get them vaccinated as early as possible.

I encourage you to make some time for this end end-of-year reflection and I’d love to hear more about your top moments of pride from 2021. Feel free to send me a note about what’s carrying you through the endlessness of this pandemic.

The Season for Networking

I can’t believe Thanksgiving is next week, the holiday movies are beginning to trend on Netflix, the Christmas Blend is brewing at Starbucks and the virtual and intimate in-person holiday gatherings are beginning to fill up our respective calendars.

For those of you who’ve been following along with me for a few years now, you may be able to predict what I’m about to say. It bears repeating.

The holiday season is MY FAVORITE time for networking and job searching.

I have clients who get new roles in December every year. I’m serious. Every. Damn. Year.

Are you ready to get your networking on at all of those holiday meals and parties?

It’s time to get your 🦆🦆🦆 in a row and I am so excited to have EXACTLY what you need to get there.

Next Monday, I’ll be launching my new - Nail Your Elevator Pitch Mini Course.

After this mini course, you will walk away with:

A memorable and authentic pitch, that sounds like you, feels energizing and activates your network so they can help you with your next career move.

I’ve got all the tools to get you there...quickly.

Short video how-to’s, three different pitch formulas to match where you are in your process (just starting out and don’t have the answers, actively job searching, or returning to the workforce after a gap).

A workbook so you can follow along with the videos.

All of this for only $60. Yes, I know. This makes me happy.

And I’m even offering a 45-minute 1:1 session to workshop it with me at a discounted rate of $125.

So if you’re motivated to test out your new pitch over these next holiday weeks, look out for my email on Monday.

OK, off to dot some i’s, cross some t’s and put some more love, compassion and joy into a process that most people dread. I’ll walk you through it, bring the fun...and you’re going to take career leaps.

Here. We. Go!