Holiday Networking When You Know Who You Are

In years past during my digital marketing career, when I attended corporate holiday parties the highlights were…

The chocolate fountains.

Colleagues dancing.

The senior leader of our group who told us all before we walked in, "Don’t eat like pigs." An unexpected, but memorable pep talk.

Spending the whole night with the three to four people who knew me best at the company. The people who truly got me.

To contrast, as I take the "so many holiday parties, so little time" approach to networking this year, there are no chocolate fountains. Thankfully, there’s no dancing AND I can eat whatever I want, as long as it’s gluten-free.

That said, the most powerful, visceral change this time is my comfort with talking to anyone and everyone—because I know who I am and what I’m contributing to the people in my life. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished this year—so I have a lot to talk about! And those who know me even just a little know that I…ahem…like to talk.

Part of stepping into my worth and discovering my confidence in networking is also knowing that I don’t need to talk the whole time to build a connection. What a relief to re-learn that I build deeper relationships when I put "The Rachel Show" on hiatus to follow my mantra for 2019—LISTEN.

The practice of deep listening has been a focus for me this year and it has shifted the way I lead workshops, the way I show up for my clients, and who I can be for strangers. When I’m present and generous, I can help them make the connections and note the possibilities I’m seeing for them.

This mindset shift has been a game-changer for both my motivation to network (on rainy, cold evenings in venues so far from Brooklyn), and in my expectations of what will come from those events.

No matter what these connections will bring to my business or my life, I know I will learn more about people. What motivates them. What keeps them stuck. What they want from their lives. What they’re willing to release. All things that bring me energy—inspiring me to write, coach, and help people change their lives.

As you attend— parties this season, I encourage you to use these as networking opportunities to tell your authentic stories, to listen and to be present—removing all expectations that this afternoon or evening will make or break your career or your business. Have fun! Don’t judge yourself or others for unsmooth dance moves—and please, if there’s a chocolate fountain—indulge. Nobody ever regrets that decision.

I'm Grateful For You

As I take time to reflect on the most meaningful areas of my work in 2019, what tops my list for the third year in a row is:

My ongoing connection and conversation with you.

It truly makes my day when you write me a note to say a sentence or even a word prompted you to think a new way. When you tell me a piece was "just what you needed to read" today.

I hear you. I see you. And that's why I will continue to be there to remind you to be compassionate to yourself. To be a flawed human. To forgive and create anew.

The way I like to close out the year is with time to be thoughtful about what went well...and well, what didn't. To set goals for the coming year and to choose people in my life who will hold me accountable for those audacious goals.

As my gift to you this season, I'm sharing my - You Got This 2020 Planner (pdf).

Create time for yourself to wrap up this year with the gravitas it deserves.

I look forward to hearing your 2020 goals and being a member of the team that inspires you to achieve them!

All the holiday love,

Rachel

Lessons From Employees Reclaiming Their WeWork Narratives

In mid-November, we saw the co-working giant WeWork layoff 2,400 of its 12,000 employees after the botched IPO revealed massive issues with its business model, as well as inappropriate behavior by CEO and founder.

As a coach and workshop facilitator who has supported the Women’s Employee Resource Group—The Women of We—in the past with coaching and personal leadership workshops, I could not be prouder of the resilient employees emerging from this reduction.

One by one, the "last day" posts from WeWork employees appeared in my LinkedIn feed. Woven together, they told me everything the salacious media coverage did not.

They acknowledged the good people, the good work, the good intent and the values they believed in.

They retold their stories—from their own perspectives.

They championed and supported their colleagues—both those who had left and those who remain.

They encouraged hiring managers looking for talent to hire former WeWork staff, at all levels.

These are all areas within their control in this complex and fraught situation.

As many know, one of my mantras in my work with clients is, "The person in charge of your career is you." The same goes for your personal brand.

While the company’s brand sentiment may be compromised, you are more than the company you work for—or worked for, as the case may be. You are a whole person, with a long career that will extend beyond your current role and expertise.

Having worked with mid-level and junior leaders at WeWork, I can say firsthand that there was and is an army of good people there who thought they were working toward a common goal.

These are people who forged forward despite the obstacles in their path—and that’s who you want on your team.

When You Think You Want To Make The BIG Change

New York City isn’t an easy place to call home. The busyness, the cost, the time-intensive process to educate my kids, and then the moments when I’m drenched in the rain with a broken umbrella trying to catch a non-existent cab. That’s when I scream to whoever’s listening, "New York!! Why you gotta be so hard?!" And yet every time I return from a trip and that skyline comes into view—I feel alive, whole, and connected to all that I love.

I’ve heard experts talk about marriage and long-term partners as something/someone you must consciously continue to choose. I do this annually in my relationship with New York.

I do not remain here because:

I’m afraid I could not find joy anywhere else.

My kids might emancipate themselves if I mentioned moving.

I built my business and my network here.

All of those reasons stem from fear. My knowledge of my self and my capabilities counteract that fear. I know I could get my business and my family up and running in a new place if that’s what I/we wanted to do. This could happen some time in the future, but for now—I continue to consciously choose this city that I love, with a community that supports me and winters that kick my ass every year.

I’m not the only New Yorker constantly re-evaluating my decision. Nearly 75% of my career transition clients tell me on our first call, "We’re considering leaving the city." And we treat this as one of the potential paths to explore.

If this sounds like you, know that you are not stuck here AND you may be able to find some the things you’re hungry for, right in your backyard (or fire escape, as the case may be).

Here are some ways I help clients further investigate moving their careers to a new city:

1. Identify your values
Name your top 5 values and define what they mean to you. In the values that are driving your choices and decisions for right now, you will find some clues as to where your current life is out of synch with what’s important to you.

2. Name your non-negotiables
I typically ask clients to choose their five non-negotiables for their next role, but this time, I recommend doing it for your next potential hometown AND role. Do you want to go somewhere where you already have a network or is going someplace completely new one of the biggest draws?

3. Drop a few pins
Choose 2-3 places you may want to move and do your research! Vet those places out for your values and your non-negotiables. Just as there’s not one perfect role out there for you, there’s not one perfect next city. If health is one of your top values, what could that look like in all of your city options?

4. Move toward instead of running from
There’s a high likelihood that what’s prompting you to make a big change doesn’t only stem for your location. While you’re figuring out what’s next, use this moment as an opportunity to make some shifts where you are. I went through this exercise at one point when I was feeling the tug to move. I discovered I could tweak my Brooklyn life to find what I was seeking—peace. If you make these changes and you still want to move, you’ll know that you did all could to optimize where you are. You are truly drawn to this new adventure.

5. Know you can always come back
As I learned in my coach training, there are no wrong decisions. You are a resilient person capable of regrouping and redirecting if need be. No matter what happens, you will learn from this change—as will your family. Simply remembering this when you’re about to take the leap can be a huge relief and give you momentum in taking that next step.

For my Bay Area friends and family who are reading this to the end expecting to see that we’ve finally decided to make that move to Cali, sorry—it’s not happening. You guys would be the first to know! For now, I’m actively choosing NYC. But—I’m here to support my people when they’re ready to give up those moments when—the train goes express without warning—in search of new adventures.