The 5 Commandments of Self-Promotion

When I was in a marketing role at a Fortune-100 Company, I had a mid-year review that started like this. My supervisor looked down at my written self-assessment and uncomfortably said, “Most of the people who report to me struggle with making their work sound important, worthy of praise and even award-winning.” 

Long pause. 

“You don’t have that problem.” 

He may have meant this feedback as a way to keep my ego in check—a plea for me to tone it down a notch, but I remember smiling and thinking, “I nailed this.” For the rest of our meeting, I provided rationale for my assessment with data from my projects and indeed won him over. That year was the first in my tenure at the company where I went on to receive the highest year-end rating and an award for innovation. 

This was also the year I realized that self-promotion, which comes naturally to me, is not an easy fit for many. In fact, it’s something many of my clients, friends and colleagues dread and even resent. 

Here are my 5 Commandments to Self-Promotion that can help you stand out from the pack and be recognized as the leader you already are. 

1) You’re the person responsible for driving your career forward:
Yes. Only. You. It’s wonderful if you have a boss or mentor who proactively helps you manage your career. If you do, you’re the exception and not the rule. YOU are the person who needs to be thinking about your next conversation, your next opportunity and the relationships you need to build. When I hear people blame their lack of promotions or raises on their boss or their company, I ask, “What are YOU doing to get yourself there?” And if the answer to that question is “Working hard.”—guess what? That’s not enough. That’s just the cost of entry! 

2) A small task can make a big impact: 
Sometimes you do something small that changes the trajectory of a project, a relationship or shifts the entire foundation of a company. You made a call. You connected two people. You had an idea. Because it’s small, your instinct may be to overlook it. Don’t. Focus on the results you’re driving or the impact you’re making and not how long the task took for you to complete. Just because an idea came to you in a millisecond doesn’t make it any less brilliant! Make sure you spread the word about the importance of your results with the right people, so that your achievements will be remembered.

3) Because it’s easy for you, does not mean it’s easy for everyone else:
When you’re doing the thing that you do well and you’re in the flow, you can assume that this is how it feels for everyone. Your excellent writing skills can feel like no big deal. Or your Marie Kondo organizational prowess may seem a dime a dozen. They’re not. They’re highly coveted skill-sets! Be sure to talk about these things more than the two times a year you have your review.

4) Be generous with praise, feedback and giving credit where it’s due:
Employees are desperate for feedback and even if you’re not an employee’s direct boss, you take on a leadership role when you’re able to provide well-observed and thoughtful feedback. When you recognize others for their strengths, you create a culture where employees feel appreciated and they in turn will celebrate your good work. You shine when you help others shine and often time’s leaders forget this. 

5) Seize your moments:
If you have a meeting with a senior leader about a project, use it as an opportunity to talk about how well your projects are going, what you’re learning that can impact the company, and how you’re doing in your career overall. These are moments you can use to leverage your exposure, so don’t waste them. They only come around once in awhile…grab your chance! By taking a risk to take the conversation to another level, you’re demonstrating the courage it requires to be in a more senior role or to be in the rooms that bring you one step closer to the promotion you desire. 

If any of this makes you bristle, which it can for some, remember why you’re doing it in the first place. Who do you want to help? How do you want to help grow the company? What kind of life do you want to provide for your family? Remember, by getting your good work out there and noticed, you’re getting closer to that “why.” When people are excited and proud of their work, all of the commandments I mentioned feel genuine and authentically part of conversation. It takes practice, but it’s absolutely achievable! 

2016: It’s A Wrap. Don’t Forget To Celebrate and Forgive.

In 2016, you did some powerful, courageous and generous things. You also did some stupid, petty and mindless things. I know this because I did too. 

You were empathetic. 
You were mean. 
You were present. 
You started every sentence in the hour before your child’s bedtime with “Don’t.”

Yes, we did that. 

Now, you have two choices about how to move forward. 

Option 1: 
Forget about all the times you nailed it and instead stew and ruminate on why you can’t seem to be a good wife, husband, leader, parent, daughter, son, caregiver or [insert one of a thousand roles you play on a daily basis]. 

Option 2: 
Acknowledge all the ways you kicked 2016’s butt AND all of the ways you failed/were human. Reflect and learn from both. Repeat. 

I know Option 1 sounds like a joke, but you’d be by surprised how many people close out every year by choosing it! When you do choose it, you bring all of that guilt and anger into your brand spanking New Year. As my best girlfriend from childhood would say, “That’s a lot of luggage!” You don’t want to drag an LV trunk worth of negativity into 2017! What a way to cancel out opportunities that await. 

Instead, I ask my clients to choose Option 2 and do this exercise to complete their year. 

1) Block out some quiet time where you won’t be disturbed. (Often the toughest part!)
2) Write a letter to yourself where you:

• Name your 2016 wins—big and small. Whatever is meaningful to you.
• Forgive yourself for things you wish you had done better AND for the things you wanted to do, but didn’t. 
• Be kind, be generous and be accepting of yourself. Treat yourself as you would a close friend or your child. Understanding. Loving. Laughing with instead of at.

2) Read it aloud.
3) Leave your luggage on the stoop. You need to make space for new, exciting and creative ideas, friend. 

Now that you've given 2016 a proper sendoff, add one New Year's toast to Option 2. Onward!

Don’t Give Up Your Job Search Over the Holidays!

I’m going to tell you a secret that you don’t want to hear. I know, it’s been a long and intense year. The world is riddled with uncertainty. You’ve been pushing hard on finding your next adventure and you simply want a break from your job search. And here comes December rolling in–you’ve found your way out! The holiday onslaught of parties, spending and debauchery (well, maybe that’s just me) gives you the perfect reason to call it quits for a while!

Here goes the record scratch, weary one: Do. Not. Stop.

Several of my clients are on their final rounds of interviews RIGHT NOW because it’s business as usual at many organizations that are hungry for new talent. During my previous career in Digital Marketing, I, myself, received two job offers during the week between Christmas and New Years. More champagne for me, people!

You CAN muster your last bit of 2016 career search mojo, and here are my top three reasons why you should:

1. The struggle is not real: 
   Everyone else believes the myth that there are no jobs to be found in December, so you have the chance to stand out! Hiring managers are receiving fewer resumes and scheduling fewer interviews, so your resume has a greater chance of making it to the top of the pile.
    
2. 2017 planning is top of mind:
   Many organizations have wrapped up their budget season and 2017 planning in November. Now, they’re clear on the action they need to take and the people they need to execute on their audacious goals. You could be one of those people!
    
3. Time and flexibility is a flowin’: 
   When I was working a full-time corporate gig, I was always a member of the skeleton crew in the office during the holidays. I took on tasks that rarely made the priority list, like organizing my desk and scheduling time with people I’d been meaning to meet with ALL YEAR. In short—people you want to meet with may have more time to connect with you now, than any other time over the next year. Even if you don’t feel like applying for jobs right now, use this time to set up informational interviews and networking meetings with contacts who will be thrilled to talk to another human being after sitting in a ghost town all day! 

This is your chance to make the last month of the year the most critical of 2016. And if you still decide to shut down communication on the job front—you must keep reading, logging your ideas and celebrating all of your wins from this past year.  Because if you’re anything like my incredible clients—there’s a lot to celebrate! 

Vision Boards With Kids

Welcome to 2016, all! How’s it going for everyone? I’ve been making the rounds with talks and trainings about New Year’s Resolutions, why they don’t work and how to create meaningful change in 2016. I was happy to see people were pumped to tap into their strengths and use tools like visualization to help them achieve their goals this year.

As part of my 2016 planning process (which is still evolving in February because that’s how I roll), I decided to create a Vision Board.  You may have heard about Vision Boards from books and movies about “The Law of Attraction” like “The Secret.”

For those who haven’t heard of the concept, the basic idea is that you cut out images and words that can help you visualize things you want in various areas of your life like health, family, relationships, spirituality, home, fun and career. You arrange all of your stickers and cutouts on paper or poster board and you hang it in a place where you’ll be able to view it often. You can spend time looking at it daily or several times a week and not only think about those things on the board, but feel the feelings you would have if you had those things in your life. The feelings are critical! The hypothesis is that by thinking about and visualizing those things, you will attract more of them into your life. 

I haven’t created a collage since my teenage years when I regularly cut out my celebrity crushes and assembled them on prominent poster boards in my room—hey it was the suburbs and I didn’t play sports—so I had plenty of quality creative time.

Channeling back to those teenage creative days, I was pretty excited about the project. I decided to get my daughters involved and treat it as a creative craft time with their coachy but fairly un-crafty mom. I figured this would be a no-brainer for my 7.5 year old, but may be a stretch for the 4.5 year old. I bought some beautiful scrapbooking materials and stickers to enhance our magazine cutouts. I’d recently Marie Kondo’d the apartment so it was slim pickings as far as magazines go. We were able to borrow some catalogues and mags from my Aunt Marilyn who jumped in to help us (I mentioned I was un-crafty, right?).

Before laying out the materials, I asked the girls to close their eyes, take a deep breath and answer these questions in their minds:

What do you want for your life?

What do you want to do for fun?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want to learn?

Where do you want to live?

Where do you want to visit?

What do you want to do with your friends?

What do you want to do with your family?

Then, I asked them to open their eyes and either write or tell us what they pictured.

After writing a few things down, I presented all of the materials and explained that we can now find pictures and words to put on our paper either from what we wrote down or from other images that inspire us along the way.

I could see my older daughter, Jane, starting to sweat. “I don’t understand. I don’t get it.” She said. She was starting to cry.

Of course, I’m thinking, this is supposed to be fun bonding time. I don’t want to stress her out! “I’m really blowing this whole craft project thing!” I tried explaining it three other times and we seemed to be in the same state of panic. Finally, I backed off and said, “Why don’t you watch me and maybe you’ll want to do it then.”

I started to create: sparkly letters, affirmation stickers, bright photos of Costa Rica, runners, healthy foods, peaceful flowers and grass…I was on a roll and loving it!

Jane quickly got it and started off on her own board with gymnasts, ice skaters, berries and nail polish. Brilliant. Later it clicked that Jane is a visual learner and I may have hit the ground running if I brought a sample board with me. Lesson learned!

Meanwhile, my 4.5 year old, Roxanne is a fairly abstract thinker and she got the project immediately. “I love mangos so I want to put a picture of a mango. I want to be a vet and I want to go to Africa and play in a treehouse!”

We all got into a creative flow and had a blast once we got the assignment. Jane even commented, “Mom, you’re really into this!” And she was right.

The girls were beaming with pride over their boards, hanging them in their rooms and showing everyone who comes into our home.

Mine is in the home office where I can spend some daily QT with it. I left some space for a few more pictures to be added over the year, but overall, I’m pleased with this visual reminder of the life I’m choosing every day.