Authentic vs. Executive Presence

Early on in my business, in addition to my 1:1 work, I facilitated 2-hour workshops on Executive Presence to rooms filled with aspiring women leaders.

At the time, I felt my own impostor syndrome sneaking up – standing in front of 30 women, telling them to focus on eye contact, watch their filler words and reign in their body language – when I was struggling with the very same “challenges.”

While I absolutely believed in my mission to advance women into positions of power and I knew this was part of the work to get them to “fit into these roles” and “play the part” there was always something about the work that felt uncomfortable for me.

Reading this now – the problems seem so obvious, but full transparency, 8 years ago – it wasn’t clear. I thought there was something a little bit wrong with me for struggling to conform to the “Executive Presence” standards set for me. Just as I was telling these women, there was something a little bit wrong with them.

That they had to change themselves to fit the culture.

Be something that wasn’t who they were.

What I see now is that this discomfort was leading me somewhere important. A place I needed to grow.

A place where I was enough. I was worthy of being who I am and sharing my message in my way.

And the patriarchal systems that don’t support me, accept me, require that I stay small – must change.

What does it look like to break the rules of Executive Presence as we’ve been taught so we can show up with Authentic Presence?

Do we truly need to pretend to be white men to lead, or can we use our gifts without bending who we are, inspiring others to do the same?

Showing up authentically requires walking directly into the fire of fear, realizing–not everyone is going to like it and you don’t need to be for everyone.

I can be here for the people who are here for me. And it’s enough.