Twelve years ago, I was part of a layoff at a company that was going through a dramatic downsizing process. I was given three months' severance that kicked in during the sunny first days of June. Instead of sulking and hiding out, I broke out my sundresses, bought myself a pair of pink Pumas and deemed it, "The Summer of Rachel." I took the time to explore my options AND do the reflecting I needed to do to land the right next gig. What did I like about my job? What do I want to do more of? Less of? While I didn't wear my Pumas to networking meetings, I DID talk all about the "Summer of Rachel." Everyone got it. The gift of time to do things I enjoy, spend time with people I love, the space to "not know" for a while.

When you're in the process of figuring out what's next in your career, a time of "not knowing" can be terrifying. My high-achieving, goal-oriented clients admit, "On top of hating that I don't know the answers, how in the world do I explain where I am right now to my family, my former colleagues, my mentors? I feel like a flake!" Of course you feel that way, because that's how you're choosing to feel. I don't know if it's because I'm an optimist or a former marketer, but my next question is always, "How would you describe this time if you had to make it sound exciting…or like a gift?"

The truth is that it takes courage to explore something new. The process can be exhilarating, but it can also be scary and leave you with (as the sage Brené Brown would say) a vulnerability hangover! Hangovers aside, this is the time when being honest and authentic in your relationships can bring your connections to a deeper level. You can admit you don't know the answers. This doesn't make you a slacker. In fact, it makes you a hero. I can assure you the people sitting across from you don't have all the answers either. They have been in your seat in the past or may be inspired by your courage because they are desperate to make a change. 

How do you want to own your career transition story? Let's start with writing a Career Transition Elevator Pitch with some examples from my own career transition from Marketing to Career and Leadership Coaching:

1. Own up to being in a career transition. How does this sound for you?: Example: After 16 years in Marketing, I decided to take a step back to figure out my next move. I looked at my strengths, what I've loved about past jobs and started putting the puzzle pieces together. I don't have the answers yet, but I'm enjoying the process of figuring them out. 

2. What are you finding exciting about this time?: Example: It's exciting to start considering the skills outside of past job titles and descriptions for which people have always sought me out. Motivation, mentoring, writing, career advice. I've done these things throughout my career and when I did them—that's when I felt completely myself. There's something there that I need to look into for sure! 

3. How can this person help you?: Example - Now I'm talking to people who have similar strengths and roles that they seem to enjoy. Would you mind telling me more about your role, how you got there and what you like about it? 

4. Now put it all together!: String all the pieces of your pitch together. You get bonus points if you come up with a fun and creative title for your exploration time. This can be a gem that emphasizes your personal brand AND a clue that you don't take yourself too seriously. 

5. Practice: Practice with friends, family and your close-in circle. Make sure it sounds like your voice and your personality -- not robotic. 

Now own it with the chutzpah it deserves! This is where you are right now. It's not where you'll be forever. Fight it, and you will continue to struggle. Accept it, and you will move through it with grace and a deeper understanding of who you are. 

If you’re looking for a little extra support in honing your Elevator Pitch, please consider the Nail Your Elevator Pitch Mini Course!

The Mini Course includes…

Five short videos that walk you through:

• A welcome and setting you up for success

• Identifying your strengths

• The strategy and approach to writing your pitch

• The formula for three different types of pitches based on your situation

• Getting into action with your pitch

Plus, a workbook where you can write the first drafts of your pitch.

All for $60!

Add a 45-minute 1:1 session to workshop your pitch with Rachel for $125.

Let’s get you out there networking with a pitch that will give you the momentum you need to make that next big career move. Take the next step here: https://www.rachelbgarrett.com/pitch

Often when my clients come to see me, they know they want a career change. They know they’re craving something new, but they feel stuck. They’re exhausted and depleted. They’ve sandwiched our session between a presentation to senior leadership and the errands that are mission critical to running their home for the week (ie. picking up the kid who will be the last one standing at daycare, again). 

When I ask them, “What would you be doing right now if money and time were no object?”, I get a deer in headlights look in response. Not only do they have no answer, but they’re also furious at themselves for being this far along in their careers without knowing what they want to be when they grow up! 

Overwhelm coupled with an anvil of pressure to “do it all” is standing in the way of creative ideas about your next career move. When you keep pushing through the slog, you feel like a shell of your pre-kids self. Remember those (still Type A but) healthy dreamer people? They’re in there, I promise! They had hobbies and unscheduled time where they could disappear for a few weekend hours, be completely unproductive and it didn’t matter. In fact, after they had that time, they showed up to work the next day energized, alive and dare I say, brilliant. 

Let’s reconnect with that carefree-ish person and unpack your overwhelm with the Roles and Responsibilities Experiment I use with working parents:

Roles and Responsibilities Experiment: 
1) Its brain dump time, friend. Break out a piece of paper and create three columns: Work, Parenting and Household. 

2) For each category, write a list of the tasks you’re responsible for on a daily or weekly basis. For now, we’re going to focus on the Parenting and Household categories because my guess is that you do this type of exercise at work regularly. Don’t hold back…put it all on there. Gifts for friends and family take time to purchase. Lunches take time to make. Managing childcare, paying bills, budgeting, scheduling play dates—it’s all fair game and it adds up. This part of our lives is what I call—“The Third Job” and it often puts my working parent clients over the edge. 

3) Now that you have your list, put:

• a “heart” next to all of the tasks you love doing
• a “star” next to the tasks you think are a high priority in your life
• a “D” next to all of the tasks that could be candidates to delegate to your partner, your kids or someone you can hire if you have the means.
• an “S” next to all of the tasks you feel you “should” do, but you’re not truly connected to them. (This group has it’s own exercise that’s coming soon so hang on to it!)

4) Review your list and note what comes up for you. Are there any D’s and S’s on your list? IF NOT, REPEAT STEP 3! Don’t think I don’t know this trick! You’re holding onto control and that’s a surefire way to stay exactly where you are. If you want to move forward, you need to create space and that means letting go of some things. 

5) For those with partners, ask them to do the exercise as well. You can use this as a starting point for a conversation about shifting some roles and responsibilities. Last summer, I took on all of our personal finance tasks including budgeting, bill paying, investing and projecting annual expenses while my husband took on grocery shopping, meal planning and much of the cooking. It’s not perfect (and it will never be), but our kids are trying new foods and we’re more on top of our finances than ever before. It’s an exciting shift. 

6) If you do decide to shift roles, remember there’s a learning curve! You’ve been making lunches and managing the babysitter for years—give your partner some room to make mistakes and learn without judgment. Resist your instinct to take back control after one or two mistakes. When you say things like, “I’m the only one who can put the baby to bed.” you tighten your handcuffs and remove any chance of having a weekend away in your near future! 

As you begin to create space by removing your “should” tasks and delegating, start to fill that space with things that bring you joy. It’s in this time when you’re doing the things you love in the space that you’ve carefully guarded for only you, that you will begin to find clues about your next exciting career move. 

You officially put 2016 (a whopper of a year) to bed with the raucous bang it deserved.  Your goals are set. Your plan is mapped. Your desk is organized and neat and hungry for the powerful action 2017 will inevitably bring.  

There’s one monumental thing you forgot—and in my experience it’s this thing that is the magic that successfully moves people from Point A to Point B, or more realistically—Point A to Point A.1 to Point A.2 and so on. This magic is your team! 

Your team should include all of the people who already support you, cheer you on and motivate you right now--in an informal way. Now we’re going to make it official and specific. You won’t need to draw up contracts or roles and responsibilities documents, and there won’t be money changing hands, just some coffee, wine or a meal on occasion. You will ask for their help by acknowledging their meaning and the special role they play in your life. Yes, deep, but we don’t build powerful, lasting relationships without going there. And in 2017, we’re going there! 

Modern wisdom (or perhaps it’s age-old wisdom that’s new again) tells us that when we seek a life partner, we can’t expect that person to fulfill our every need. I like to apply this filter to my team. To live a powerful life that I create, to be a leader—I’m going to need a lot of support to get there. The open job recs are vast, so let’s identify the needs before we fill the roles. 

2017 Career Support Team

1. Person to make you laugh when shit hits the fan
2. Subject Matter Expert in your field 
3. Someone in your industry, at your level AND who actually cares about your day to day minutia
4. Guru who has navigated his/her career with impressive wisdom
5. Unconditional loving person who will just let you talk
6. Unconditional loving person who cuts off your talking to push you to go deeper 
7. Running partner
8. The one who sits with you when you cry
9. Childhood friend who can cheer you on by telling you that you’ve always had this in you OR that you’ve come such a long way
10. The one who will drop everything and play hooky with you to see a movie 

Your list will look different than mine, of course. 

And before you fill the roles, let’s be clear who SHOULD NOT be on the list. I see clients mistakenly looking to these people for support and as a result, they end up feeling frustrated and depleted. 

2017 People Who Love Us But Don’t Overtly Support Us

1. The person who feels threatened by you (for reasons that are not about you)
2. Negative friend or family member who constantly challenges your actions
3. The person who wants you to play it safe because he/she is scared for you or for both of you

What I find comforting about this short list of people—is that just because they may not support you in taking on some of your goals, it doesn’t mean you need to discontinue your relationships with them. Often times these people are a part of our families, and that’s simply not possible. We CAN change our expectations about these relationships. Perhaps you do more listening to help them in their lives instead of sharing important areas of your life that you know they will not support. You are staffing up with that first list of people, so you don’t need support from this group of people who can’t offer it to you. 

The funny part about this process is that when you are steadfast in driving toward your goals, getting support where you need it and thriving—some of those people who were once negative turn a corner and begin applying for roles on your team. It’s truly wild, but can happen. 

Now that you’ve outlined all the critical roles for your 2017 Team, have fun with your recruiting conversations! Make sure you respect the time of your people, but also don’t fear reaching out. They want you to succeed as strongly as you do—and they will hold you accountable where you, yourself cannot. I was proud to be on the team for many of my friends who were killing their careers in 2016 and was beaming with each achievement. New non-profits created. Documentaries completed, sold and winning awards. Podcasts started. Powerful work-life balance choices. Life is much more full and fun when we’re in it together. And what a relief it is to know that we’ve got our people lined up for the not-so-fun parts.

There’s only one New Year’s Resolution that I’ve ever stuck with. In 2016, my daughters ages 8 and 5, made me promise that I would only wear sparkly nail polish for the entire year. I love this brilliant take on resolutions from a child’s point of view. You don’t need to punish yourself with six days a week of hard labor at the gym if that’s not bringing you joy (and I know for some it does—power to you!). Simply bring more sparkle into your life. Yes, little ladies. I can do this and I did. 

Sparkly polish aside, it’s the premise of resolutions that makes me squirm: there’s something wrong with you that must be changed. Between your hedonist New Year’s brunch (with Bloody Mary, please!) on January 1 and when you go back to work on January 2, you need to become a new person. Not possible! So why waste your energy and set yourself up for failure? 

Another way I like to approach the New Year is to decide top priorities and non-negotiables. And for these priorities to pass muster with our brains that are trained to need immediate satisfaction—you MUST articulate why these are important to you and how you’re going to achieve them. 

Here are some of mine so you can get the hang of it (and hold me accountable, of course!). 

Non-Negotiable #1: Connection With My Daughters: 
Why: My daughters blow me away each day with their view of the world, their generosity with love and hugs and their comic timing (nearly impossible to keep a straight face!) Plus, they will not be this age forever. I want to savor this time and remember that I created my own business in part so I can control my schedule and spend more meaningful time with them. 
How: Build in solo time with each girl, give them options for how they want to spend it, schedule in class trips and time to go into their classrooms, work with them on a list of activities they want to do with me this year and start enjoying those choices with them! 

Non-Negotiable #2: Connection With My Husband:
Why: My partner, my best friend, my love; the one person in the world with whom I would ever share a room and a life. 
How: Date nights, expressing gratitude for all he does, giving him space to do things on his own and see his friends, more hugs. 

Non-Negotiable #3: Creativity and Joy Time:
Why: The evidence from several experiments is in. I’m my best, most interesting, happiest self when I make the things that bring me joy a priority. And I know when I’m close to losing it that I’ve fallen off track with these things. 
How: Running, quiet time, writing, podcasts, friends, connecting people, reading, Prospect Park, coffee. 

Non-Negotiable #4: Support Women To Create Careers and Lives They Love:
Why: I’m lit up by helping others. Period. Then, 10X that when I can help others in an area where there’s a gap in resources and impactful help available. There’s a problem to solve here and it keeps me up at night. How do we support women in their careers and in motherhood so they feel like they can stay in the game, trading in a life of deep overwhelm, guilt and exhaustion for a life they’re proud, happy and grateful to live. 
How: Coaching, writing, connecting women to resources and new contacts, inspiring, speaking, acknowledging, re-framing, experimenting with new tools in my own life. Being there. Staying in it. Continuing to learn from wise teachers. 

Thanks for allowing me to walk my talk in your presence. Once you’ve come up with your Non-Negotiables, I would find a buddy who can keep you accountable. You can set up a time once a month over coffee or a nice meal where you talk about how you incorporated your NN’s into your life. Acknowledge your good work and see what you can tweak. If you’re having trouble fitting one of them in, re-read your why statement. Is it powerful enough for you to buy into it? If not, give it an edit and see where you land.

Congrats to giving up the punishment, pressure and self-loathing of changing your life in one day! Instead you can jump on the path to living an intentional 2017. Phew! See you there. 

When I was in a marketing role at a Fortune-100 Company, I had a mid-year review that started like this. My supervisor looked down at my written self-assessment and uncomfortably said, “Most of the people who report to me struggle with making their work sound important, worthy of praise and even award-winning.” 

Long pause. 

“You don’t have that problem.” 

He may have meant this feedback as a way to keep my ego in check—a plea for me to tone it down a notch, but I remember smiling and thinking, “I nailed this.” For the rest of our meeting, I provided rationale for my assessment with data from my projects and indeed won him over. That year was the first in my tenure at the company where I went on to receive the highest year-end rating and an award for innovation. 

This was also the year I realized that self-promotion, which comes naturally to me, is not an easy fit for many. In fact, it’s something many of my clients, friends and colleagues dread and even resent. 

Here are my 5 Commandments to Self-Promotion that can help you stand out from the pack and be recognized as the leader you already are. 

1) You’re the person responsible for driving your career forward:
Yes. Only. You. It’s wonderful if you have a boss or mentor who proactively helps you manage your career. If you do, you’re the exception and not the rule. YOU are the person who needs to be thinking about your next conversation, your next opportunity and the relationships you need to build. When I hear people blame their lack of promotions or raises on their boss or their company, I ask, “What are YOU doing to get yourself there?” And if the answer to that question is “Working hard.”—guess what? That’s not enough. That’s just the cost of entry! 

2) A small task can make a big impact: 
Sometimes you do something small that changes the trajectory of a project, a relationship or shifts the entire foundation of a company. You made a call. You connected two people. You had an idea. Because it’s small, your instinct may be to overlook it. Don’t. Focus on the results you’re driving or the impact you’re making and not how long the task took for you to complete. Just because an idea came to you in a millisecond doesn’t make it any less brilliant! Make sure you spread the word about the importance of your results with the right people, so that your achievements will be remembered.

3) Because it’s easy for you, does not mean it’s easy for everyone else:
When you’re doing the thing that you do well and you’re in the flow, you can assume that this is how it feels for everyone. Your excellent writing skills can feel like no big deal. Or your Marie Kondo organizational prowess may seem a dime a dozen. They’re not. They’re highly coveted skill-sets! Be sure to talk about these things more than the two times a year you have your review.

4) Be generous with praise, feedback and giving credit where it’s due:
Employees are desperate for feedback and even if you’re not an employee’s direct boss, you take on a leadership role when you’re able to provide well-observed and thoughtful feedback. When you recognize others for their strengths, you create a culture where employees feel appreciated and they in turn will celebrate your good work. You shine when you help others shine and often time’s leaders forget this. 

5) Seize your moments:
If you have a meeting with a senior leader about a project, use it as an opportunity to talk about how well your projects are going, what you’re learning that can impact the company, and how you’re doing in your career overall. These are moments you can use to leverage your exposure, so don’t waste them. They only come around once in awhile…grab your chance! By taking a risk to take the conversation to another level, you’re demonstrating the courage it requires to be in a more senior role or to be in the rooms that bring you one step closer to the promotion you desire. 

If any of this makes you bristle, which it can for some, remember why you’re doing it in the first place. Who do you want to help? How do you want to help grow the company? What kind of life do you want to provide for your family? Remember, by getting your good work out there and noticed, you’re getting closer to that “why.” When people are excited and proud of their work, all of the commandments I mentioned feel genuine and authentically part of conversation. It takes practice, but it’s absolutely achievable! 

In 2016, you did some powerful, courageous and generous things. You also did some stupid, petty and mindless things. I know this because I did too. 

You were empathetic. 
You were mean. 
You were present. 
You started every sentence in the hour before your child’s bedtime with “Don’t.”

Yes, we did that. 

Now, you have two choices about how to move forward. 

Option 1: 
Forget about all the times you nailed it and instead stew and ruminate on why you can’t seem to be a good wife, husband, leader, parent, daughter, son, caregiver or [insert one of a thousand roles you play on a daily basis]. 

Option 2: 
Acknowledge all the ways you kicked 2016’s butt AND all of the ways you failed/were human. Reflect and learn from both. Repeat. 

I know Option 1 sounds like a joke, but you’d be by surprised how many people close out every year by choosing it! When you do choose it, you bring all of that guilt and anger into your brand spanking New Year. As my best girlfriend from childhood would say, “That’s a lot of luggage!” You don’t want to drag an LV trunk worth of negativity into 2017! What a way to cancel out opportunities that await. 

Instead, I ask my clients to choose Option 2 and do this exercise to complete their year. 

1) Block out some quiet time where you won’t be disturbed. (Often the toughest part!)
2) Write a letter to yourself where you:

• Name your 2016 wins—big and small. Whatever is meaningful to you.
• Forgive yourself for things you wish you had done better AND for the things you wanted to do, but didn’t. 
• Be kind, be generous and be accepting of yourself. Treat yourself as you would a close friend or your child. Understanding. Loving. Laughing with instead of at.

2) Read it aloud.
3) Leave your luggage on the stoop. You need to make space for new, exciting and creative ideas, friend. 

Now that you've given 2016 a proper sendoff, add one New Year's toast to Option 2. Onward!

I’m going to tell you a secret that you don’t want to hear. I know, it’s been a long and intense year. The world is riddled with uncertainty. You’ve been pushing hard on finding your next adventure and you simply want a break from your job search. And here comes December rolling in–you’ve found your way out! The holiday onslaught of parties, spending and debauchery (well, maybe that’s just me) gives you the perfect reason to call it quits for a while!

Here goes the record scratch, weary one: Do. Not. Stop.

Several of my clients are on their final rounds of interviews RIGHT NOW because it’s business as usual at many organizations that are hungry for new talent. During my previous career in Digital Marketing, I, myself, received two job offers during the week between Christmas and New Years. More champagne for me, people!

You CAN muster your last bit of 2016 career search mojo, and here are my top three reasons why you should:

1. The struggle is not real: 
   Everyone else believes the myth that there are no jobs to be found in December, so you have the chance to stand out! Hiring managers are receiving fewer resumes and scheduling fewer interviews, so your resume has a greater chance of making it to the top of the pile.
    
2. 2017 planning is top of mind:
   Many organizations have wrapped up their budget season and 2017 planning in November. Now, they’re clear on the action they need to take and the people they need to execute on their audacious goals. You could be one of those people!
    
3. Time and flexibility is a flowin’: 
   When I was working a full-time corporate gig, I was always a member of the skeleton crew in the office during the holidays. I took on tasks that rarely made the priority list, like organizing my desk and scheduling time with people I’d been meaning to meet with ALL YEAR. In short—people you want to meet with may have more time to connect with you now, than any other time over the next year. Even if you don’t feel like applying for jobs right now, use this time to set up informational interviews and networking meetings with contacts who will be thrilled to talk to another human being after sitting in a ghost town all day! 

This is your chance to make the last month of the year the most critical of 2016. And if you still decide to shut down communication on the job front—you must keep reading, logging your ideas and celebrating all of your wins from this past year.  Because if you’re anything like my incredible clients—there’s a lot to celebrate! 

Welcome to 2016, all! How’s it going for everyone? I’ve been making the rounds with talks and trainings about New Year’s Resolutions, why they don’t work and how to create meaningful change in 2016. I was happy to see people were pumped to tap into their strengths and use tools like visualization to help them achieve their goals this year.

As part of my 2016 planning process (which is still evolving in February because that’s how I roll), I decided to create a Vision Board.  You may have heard about Vision Boards from books and movies about “The Law of Attraction” like “The Secret.”

For those who haven’t heard of the concept, the basic idea is that you cut out images and words that can help you visualize things you want in various areas of your life like health, family, relationships, spirituality, home, fun and career. You arrange all of your stickers and cutouts on paper or poster board and you hang it in a place where you’ll be able to view it often. You can spend time looking at it daily or several times a week and not only think about those things on the board, but feel the feelings you would have if you had those things in your life. The feelings are critical! The hypothesis is that by thinking about and visualizing those things, you will attract more of them into your life. 

I haven’t created a collage since my teenage years when I regularly cut out my celebrity crushes and assembled them on prominent poster boards in my room—hey it was the suburbs and I didn’t play sports—so I had plenty of quality creative time.

Channeling back to those teenage creative days, I was pretty excited about the project. I decided to get my daughters involved and treat it as a creative craft time with their coachy but fairly un-crafty mom. I figured this would be a no-brainer for my 7.5 year old, but may be a stretch for the 4.5 year old. I bought some beautiful scrapbooking materials and stickers to enhance our magazine cutouts. I’d recently Marie Kondo’d the apartment so it was slim pickings as far as magazines go. We were able to borrow some catalogues and mags from my Aunt Marilyn who jumped in to help us (I mentioned I was un-crafty, right?).

Before laying out the materials, I asked the girls to close their eyes, take a deep breath and answer these questions in their minds:

What do you want for your life?

What do you want to do for fun?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want to learn?

Where do you want to live?

Where do you want to visit?

What do you want to do with your friends?

What do you want to do with your family?

Then, I asked them to open their eyes and either write or tell us what they pictured.

After writing a few things down, I presented all of the materials and explained that we can now find pictures and words to put on our paper either from what we wrote down or from other images that inspire us along the way.

I could see my older daughter, Jane, starting to sweat. “I don’t understand. I don’t get it.” She said. She was starting to cry.

Of course, I’m thinking, this is supposed to be fun bonding time. I don’t want to stress her out! “I’m really blowing this whole craft project thing!” I tried explaining it three other times and we seemed to be in the same state of panic. Finally, I backed off and said, “Why don’t you watch me and maybe you’ll want to do it then.”

I started to create: sparkly letters, affirmation stickers, bright photos of Costa Rica, runners, healthy foods, peaceful flowers and grass…I was on a roll and loving it!

Jane quickly got it and started off on her own board with gymnasts, ice skaters, berries and nail polish. Brilliant. Later it clicked that Jane is a visual learner and I may have hit the ground running if I brought a sample board with me. Lesson learned!

Meanwhile, my 4.5 year old, Roxanne is a fairly abstract thinker and she got the project immediately. “I love mangos so I want to put a picture of a mango. I want to be a vet and I want to go to Africa and play in a treehouse!”

We all got into a creative flow and had a blast once we got the assignment. Jane even commented, “Mom, you’re really into this!” And she was right.

The girls were beaming with pride over their boards, hanging them in their rooms and showing everyone who comes into our home.

Mine is in the home office where I can spend some daily QT with it. I left some space for a few more pictures to be added over the year, but overall, I’m pleased with this visual reminder of the life I’m choosing every day.