Career Shift Blog
by Rachel B. Garrett
When we forget to choose ourselves
Last month, on a Tuesday, I had a scary morning.
I came in from the (very short) morning walk with my dog, was about to prepare breakfast for myself and I took a sip of water. I felt some pain while drinking. Head rush. Grabbed the wall.
The next thing I remember, I was sitting on my kitchen floor in a pool of spilled water, with my 14 year old daughter, Jane, asking me, “Are you ok? Do you know that you fell?”
I came to… in shock, surprised to be sitting. Surprised to have no memory of what just happened.
Jane led me to the couch where I slowly came back to myself.
For the next hour, I started every sentence with, “I’m fine.” Which is pretty weird when you’re asking someone what they want for lunch.
My plan: move through the day as if nothing happened. I mean. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.
I had several important meetings including kicking off a new group I’m leading with 11 accomplished and talented women.
I decided to reach out to my doctor more for “a heads up” and for validation of my decision to forge forward with these mission critical meetings.
That’s not what I got.
She urged me to go to the ER to be checked out. The fact that I lost consciousness for a bit and that this had never happened before was enough for her to be concerned.
My gut reaction: this is overkill and I don’t have time for this today.
I called my brother in law who is an MD. Again, his response was the same. This is serious and you need to be seen.
The seriousness of all the medical people started to get me spooked, but I still felt a complete, full body resistance to walking away from my commitments.
Then finally my neighbor and close friend gave me the reality check and tough talk I needed.
Everyone will understand. You need to make yourself a priority. This is the most important thing right now.
I canceled everything.
Every single person on the other end showed up with compassion and warmth and understanding that I was doing the right thing.
My friend walked me the two blocks to the hospital and the whole experience took 3 hours (happily several hours shorter than I imagined).
And I was ok. A vasovagal response to the pain while drinking the water. That’s fancy medical terms for fainting.
As I rested the rest of the day and evening, I didn’t shame the part of me that wanted to push through. That’s the culture we live in. I’m sure I’m not alone in this response and I want to believe that next time I will make a different choice as soon as something comes up.
What I have been thinking about the most are my people. If you know you’re someone who will just push through–surround yourself with people who will not allow it. Who will help you choose yourself.
From my family, to my friends to my business partners–everyone guided me and cleared the path for me to show up for myself. And I walked away both grateful and knowing of the kind of family, friend and business partner I want to show up to be.
The Mindset to Cultivate for The Job Search
At the beginning of my work with each private coaching client, we discuss how they want their entire life to look – so we can fit the right kind of career into that life.
We talk values – in essence they create a personal compass to finding a path that’s on their terms.
AND…I share the mindset shifting tools they will need to keep their mental health intact during this exercise in resilience building we call...the job search process.
Job searchers who gain momentum quickly appear to have these things in common:
They are having many proactive networking conversations.
They are experimenting with multiple paths.
They are applying to and interviewing for multiple opportunities at one time.
When they don’t get the role, they focus on the fact that it was not a fit and they move on.
They do their best to get invested enough to interview well without falling in love.
They cultivate a detached optimism that avoids the lowest of lows and highest of highs.
They maintain a steady, calm presence.
They believe it’s possible.
If that’s you, great – you’re on your way.
If that’s not you, I see you and I can assure you, you’re not alone.
You care. You’re working your ass off. This is a top priority for you. I get it.
I'm here to tell you: your results mean nothing about your WORTH. As an employee. As a human.
I work with clients to remind themselves of their worth before and after job search activities in small and impactful ways. For example:
Before an interview…
They use visualization and proactive mantras that remind them of who they are, regardless of whether or not they get the job.
After an interview…
They take time for a compassionate debrief where they notice their wins, some areas to tighten up for the next interview – and remember – they will be ok no matter what.
As with all personal and professional development, cultivating this detached optimism mindset is a practice, and you will not get there 100% of the time. That said, I know when clients see growth in this area – many of the tactical components of the search seem to naturally come together.
My Best Career Advice: Be You, Not a Pretzel
After 7+ years in business, I’ve figured out a few things that make me my best boss ever.
I don’t schedule zoom meetings before 10 am.
I make time for coffee dates, walks and lunches with friends during the work day.
I say no to opportunities with organizations and individuals who ask me to turn myself into a pretzel to be their facilitator or coach.
The first two are pretty straightforward, energizing for me and also may not be everyone’s jam.
It’s number three that I find to be the most universal. I’ve solidly stepped into this practice within the past year and I’ve never felt more free. So, let me explain.
I offer specific coaching programs and signature talks on my website and in my potential client calls. I’ve developed these offerings after a rigorous process of identifying where I add the most value, how my clients and I can co-create magic and what gets my clients their best results.
Every so often, a potential client will ask me to radically change my offer, give them a different rate or only focus on the very tactical parts of the process.
I completely understand why they would ask. I’m all about advocating for what you need.
In the past I would have tied myself in knots and gone for it, even though the pit in my stomach was saying, “Oh hell no.”
A fellow entrepreneur friend and I now affectionately call these “Pretzel Requests.”
Somehow the imagery has helped me confirm my gut feeling and confidently go with the no.
It sounds like, “I’ve found that this is the structure where I can deliver the most value to my clients and it gets them the best results. If you’re looking for something else, we may not be a fit.”
I know I’ve made the right move every time the full body relief washes over me. It renews my confidence and belief that I can be who I am and run a successful business. In fact, the more I say no to Pretzel Requests, the more right-fit requests seem to show up soon after.
So the next time your boss, client or partner asks you to be a contortionist to do your work, think about how you can say no to Pretzel Requests in your own worthy way.
How to Answer the Dreaded, "Tell Me About Yourself."
How many times have you been at a party, a conference or an interview and you hear the words…
"Tell me about yourself."
Hot face. Sweaty palms. Chest constriction. All the panic.
If this is you and your reaction – I see you.
You may be feeling this way because you’re bored with your work, you’re ready for a change or you’ve never sat down to think about – what do I even do well?
Many of us have a hard time talking about ourselves, our gifts and the kind of work we want to do in the world. This is completely normal. Especially when we’ve been taught to tamp down any bragging or boasting since childhood.
You don’t want to be THAT person, right?
Well, if you want to connect with new people who are going to help you figure out what’s next for you in your career – THAT’S exactly the person you want to be.
And you can absolutely do it in your own authentic way. By talking about the things you’re proud of and what you want to learn. What energizes you and who in the world you want to help.
If you’re still having trouble envisioning what you might say, or if your palms are still sweaty just reading this, let me offer up simple solution that will leave you with a unique and memorable pitch in just an afternoon. It’s my...
Nail Your Elevator Pitch Mini Course
The mini course is best for people who:
Are thinking about a shift, but fear networking and sounding “flakey” because they don’t have it all figured out yet.
Are returning to the workforce after a gap.
Are in active job searches and career shifts, but are not yet landing the right next roles or even the right conversations to get those roles.
️ The course includes:
Five short videos that walk you through:
...A welcome and setting you up for success
...Identifying your strengths
...The strategy and approach to writing your pitch
...The formula for 3 different types of pitches based on YOUR situation
...Getting into action with your pitch (How to start using it in networking)
️ A workbook where you can write the first drafts of your pitch
And now you can pair it with single 60-minute virtual session with me to discuss your pitch and anything else related to your search! You can learn more about the Mini Course at rachelbgarrett.com/pitch.
As a coach who helps people design careers on their own terms, I’m a huge proponent of talking to your network BEFORE you have all of the answers for what’s next. In fact, it’s those conversations that help you form the ideas and possibilities for what you want.
So, with this Mini Course, you can get out there and talk to your advocates – early in your process with some hypotheses and clear ways they can be on Team YOU from the very beginning.
I look forward to helping you stand in your power. Own your strengths. And give yourself permission to want what you want.