Last month, on a Tuesday, I had a scary morning. 

I came in from the (very short) morning walk with my dog, was about to prepare breakfast for myself and I took a sip of water. I felt some pain while drinking. Head rush. Grabbed the wall. 

The next thing I remember, I was sitting on my kitchen floor in a pool of spilled water, with my 14 year old daughter, Jane, asking me, “Are you ok? Do you know that you fell?” 

I came to… in shock, surprised to be sitting. Surprised to have no memory of what just happened. 

Jane led me to the couch where I slowly came back to myself. 

For the next hour, I started every sentence with, “I’m fine.” Which is pretty weird when you’re asking someone what they want for lunch. 

My plan: move through the day as if nothing happened. I mean. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. 

I had several important meetings including kicking off a new group I’m leading with 11 accomplished and talented women. 

I decided to reach out to my doctor more for “a heads up” and for validation of my decision to forge forward with these mission critical meetings. 

That’s not what I got. 

She urged me to go to the ER to be checked out. The fact that I lost consciousness for a bit and that this had never happened before was enough for her to be concerned. 

My gut reaction: this is overkill and I don’t have time for this today. 

I called my brother in law who is an MD. Again, his response was the same. This is serious and you need to be seen. 

The seriousness of all the medical people started  to get me spooked, but I still felt a complete, full body resistance to walking away from my commitments. 

Then finally my neighbor and close friend gave me the reality check and tough talk I needed. 

Everyone will understand. You need to make yourself a priority. This is the most important thing right now. 

I canceled everything. 

Every single person on the other end showed up with compassion and warmth and understanding that I was doing the right thing. 

My friend walked me the two blocks to the hospital and the whole experience took 3 hours (happily several hours shorter than I imagined). 

And I was ok. A vasovagal response to the pain while drinking the water. That’s fancy medical terms for fainting. 

As I rested the rest of the day and evening, I didn’t shame the part of me that wanted to push through. That’s the culture we live in. I’m sure I’m not alone in this response and I want to believe that next time I will make a different choice as soon as something comes up. 

What I have been thinking about the most are my people. If you know you’re someone who will just push through–surround yourself with people who will not allow it. Who will help you choose yourself. 

From my family, to my friends to my business partners–everyone guided me and cleared the path for me to show up for myself. And I walked away both grateful and knowing of the kind of family, friend and business partner I want to show up to be. 

At the beginning of my work with each private coaching client, we discuss how they want their entire life to look – so we can fit the right kind of career into that life.

We talk values – in essence they create a personal compass to finding a path that’s on their terms.

AND…I share the mindset shifting tools they will need to keep their mental health intact during this exercise in resilience building we call...the job search process.

Job searchers who gain momentum quickly appear to have these things in common:

• They are having many proactive networking conversations.

• They are experimenting with multiple paths.

• They are applying to and interviewing for multiple opportunities at one time.

• When they don’t get the role, they focus on the fact that it was not a fit and they move on.

• They do their best to get invested enough to interview well without falling in love.

• They cultivate a detached optimism that avoids the lowest of lows and highest of highs.

• They maintain a steady, calm presence.

• They believe it’s possible.

If that’s you, great – you’re on your way.

If that’s not you, I see you and I can assure you, you’re not alone.

You care. You’re working your ass off. This is a top priority for you. I get it.

I'm here to tell you: your results mean nothing about your WORTH. As an employee. As a human.

I work with clients to remind themselves of their worth before and after job search activities in small and impactful ways. For example:

Before an interview…

They use visualization and proactive mantras that remind them of who they are, regardless of whether or not they get the job.

After an interview…

They take time for a compassionate debrief where they notice their wins, some areas to tighten up for the next interview – and remember – they will be ok no matter what.

As with all personal and professional development, cultivating this detached optimism mindset is a practice, and you will not get there 100% of the time. That said, I know when clients see growth in this area – many of the tactical components of the search seem to naturally come together.

After 7+ years in business, I’ve figured out a few things that make me my best boss ever.

1. I don’t schedule zoom meetings before 10 am.

2. I make time for coffee dates, walks and lunches with friends during the work day.

3. I say no to opportunities with organizations and individuals who ask me to turn myself into a pretzel to be their facilitator or coach.

The first two are pretty straightforward, energizing for me and also may not be everyone’s jam.

It’s number three that I find to be the most universal. I’ve solidly stepped into this practice within the past year and I’ve never felt more free. So, let me explain.

I offer specific coaching programs and signature talks on my website and in my potential client calls. I’ve developed these offerings after a rigorous process of identifying where I add the most value, how my clients and I can co-create magic and what gets my clients their best results.

Every so often, a potential client will ask me to radically change my offer, give them a different rate or only focus on the very tactical parts of the process.

I completely understand why they would ask. I’m all about advocating for what you need.

In the past I would have tied myself in knots and gone for it, even though the pit in my stomach was saying, “Oh hell no.”

A fellow entrepreneur friend and I now affectionately call these “Pretzel Requests.”

Somehow the imagery has helped me confirm my gut feeling and confidently go with the no.

It sounds like, “I’ve found that this is the structure where I can deliver the most value to my clients and it gets them the best results. If you’re looking for something else, we may not be a fit.”

I know I’ve made the right move every time the full body relief washes over me. It renews my confidence and belief that I can be who I am and run a successful business. In fact, the more I say no to Pretzel Requests, the more right-fit requests seem to show up soon after.

So the next time your boss, client or partner asks you to be a contortionist to do your work, think about how you can say no to Pretzel Requests in your own worthy way.

How many times have you been at a party, a conference or an interview and you hear the words…

"Tell me about yourself."

Hot face. Sweaty palms. Chest constriction. All the panic.

If this is you and your reaction – I see you.

You may be feeling this way because you’re bored with your work, you’re ready for a change or you’ve never sat down to think about – what do I even do well?

Many of us have a hard time talking about ourselves, our gifts and the kind of work we want to do in the world. This is completely normal. Especially when we’ve been taught to tamp down any bragging or boasting since childhood.

You don’t want to be THAT person, right?

Well, if you want to connect with new people who are going to help you figure out what’s next for you in your career – THAT’S exactly the person you want to be.

And you can absolutely do it in your own authentic way. By talking about the things you’re proud of and what you want to learn. What energizes you and who in the world you want to help.

If you’re still having trouble envisioning what you might say, or if your palms are still sweaty just reading this, let me offer up simple solution that will leave you with a unique and memorable pitch in just an afternoon. It’s my...

Nail Your Elevator Pitch Mini Course

The mini course is best for people who:

• Are thinking about a shift, but fear networking and sounding “flakey” because they don’t have it all figured out yet.

• Are returning to the workforce after a gap.

• Are in active job searches and career shifts, but are not yet landing the right next roles or even the right conversations to get those roles.

️ The course includes:

• Five short videos that walk you through:

  • ...A welcome and setting you up for success

  • ...Identifying your strengths

  • ...The strategy and approach to writing your pitch

  • ...The formula for 3 different types of pitches based on YOUR situation

  • ...Getting into action with your pitch (How to start using it in networking)

• ️ A workbook where you can write the first drafts of your pitch

And now you can pair it with single 60-minute virtual session with me to discuss your pitch and anything else related to your search! You can learn more about the Mini Course at rachelbgarrett.com/pitch.

As a coach who helps people design careers on their own terms, I’m a huge proponent of talking to your network BEFORE you have all of the answers for what’s next. In fact, it’s those conversations that help you form the ideas and possibilities for what you want.

So, with this Mini Course, you can get out there and talk to your advocates – early in your process with some hypotheses and clear ways they can be on Team YOU from the very beginning.

I look forward to helping you stand in your power. Own your strengths. And give yourself permission to want what you want.

The news of layoffs across the tech and media sectors is disheartening. If your LinkedIn feed looks anything like mine, announcements of former colleagues and clients who have been impacted by yet another RIF seems like a daily occurrence.

Outside of my 1:1 client work, I’m hoping to do my part to help these folks by sharing A LOT of open roles on LinkedIn and connecting them with relevant contacts within my network.

And yet there’s another group of people struggling, seemingly invisible behind the scenes.

The ones who “survived” the layoff.

The employees being asked to perform two and even three roles at once.

Those who have dramatically increased their hours without an increase in pay.

The loyal team members who are burnt out and feel they should stick it out and be grateful they have jobs.

If this is you or someone you love, I have two recommendations for navigating this challenging situation.

#1: Acknowledge your grief.

• You’re experiencing the loss of partnership and collaboration with your former colleagues who are no longer part of the team. Yes, you can stay in touch and if they’re important to you–you absolutely should make an effort to do so–but you know and you are correct. It will not be the same.
  

• You also may be feeling loss around what you thought this team, this year, this work would look and feel like. It’s not what you envisioned or hoped it would be and in order to create something new–it’s important to be truthful about what no longer is.

#2. Honor and own your boundaries.

• You may be asked to push beyond what’s possible for your energy, your mental health, your worth. Get quiet with yourself and the people who love you. What do you need in order to make this work for your organization and for you? Practice asking for what you need. And ask again when the request doesn’t stick. If your boundaries are not respected, you have some data to help you know whether or not this situation can be navigated on your terms.

• You may be asked to step back into work you’ve moved on from, work that’s more junior and is not energizing for you. Get creative in how you can set boundaries here. Work that is not energizing for you may be a professional development opportunity for others. Also, you can use your strategic expertise to build better systems and processes so you can minimize time spent on these tasks. Practice saying no to taking on these tasks while offering another solution for how it can be handled.

Lastly, I would go forth with compassion. Assume best intentions from all parties. And most importantly, do all of the things you do to refuel when you’re in a challenging situation.

Admit to yourself, yes you have a job, but you’re still in a rough patch – and you need to take care of the only person that can get you through it. That’s you, friend.

If you’ve been following along with me for awhile now, you know…I write myself a lot of letters. They help me connect with my inner wisdom, my brokenness and the bridge I build daily between the two.

One letter I wrote to myself in January was to my 2024 self. Because it turned out to be a bit of a love letter, I decided to share it with you on this day that’s all about love.

I highly recommend you write your own love letter to you – whether it’s past, present or future you. I learn something new each time and the quiet reflection allows me to silence all the experts and thought leaders living in my brain and tap into the person who knows me best of all.

Here we go…

Hello my Friend,

2023 was the year I learned how to truly be a friend to you. And I found a calm and a peace knowing I'm always with my friend. Not an asshole boss. Not a strict teacher policing and critiquing my actions and choices, expecting perfection. Nope. My friend. Who’s learning an acceptance for all of me and all I’ve been through.

It was the year of allowing for polar opposites. Wild expansion in my business. And deep inner work to heal childhood wounds. It was the year I learned you can do both things at one time if you create space, set boundaries and tell the truth.

Beyond my client work, I focused on my writing this past year. And while I wasn’t always the most creative, inspired or prolific writer…I did my best. I committed. I showed up. I’m really proud of this because while I love writing, it’s challenging work. I was up for that challenge – even though I didn’t know (and still don’t know) what will happen with any of it or if it will indeed become a book.

2024 Friend, I hope you continue to be an open and curious student of how to mother teenage daughters with compassion for them and you. You did not have a model so this is all new territory. I’ve never learned more about myself than in my relationships with my kids in 2023. I love how we finally figured out you don’t need to bake and craft to be a great mom for them. You can use your gifts. You can write them letters too and I did – often. And yes, friend – they were damn good and cherished by their recipients.

I dream for you, friend. That you continue to connect with the people who energize you. People who celebrate you and people who give you the space to fall apart. You are loved by your people and you and I are finding our way to that love too. It’s a prickly path and while we weren’t always responsible for installing the landmines, we are in charge of deactivating them. That’s part of our life’s work. So go ahead and rally 2025 Friend and the rest of them to let them know we come in peace and acceptance and love.

Love,

2023 Friend, Rachel

Now your turn – feel free to share your letter or how you’re showing yourself love today!

Happy Valentine’s Day All!

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To kick off the start of Black History Month tomorrow, I’d like to share the profiles of five Black Influencers on LinkedIn who are broadening our perspectives and helping organizations think differently about how we break down systems of oppression. 

Blessing Adesiyan
https://www.linkedin.com/in/blessingadesiyan/
CEO, MH WorkLife | Building work-life care infrastructure for today's workforce

Talks about #futureofwork and #futureofhome

Rocki Howard
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rockihoward/
Bold diversity advocate | Passionate voice for the excluded | Creating high performing, inclusive and equitable cultures

Talks about #leadership, #inspiration, #workingmoms, and #diversityequityandinclusion

Jodi-Ann Burey

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaburey/

Speaker. Writer. Disruptor. | Author of AUTHENTIC (Flatiron Books, Fall 2023) | TED Speaker | Creator + Host of the Black Cancer podcast

Desiree Adaway

https://www.linkedin.com/in/desiree-adaway-4373265/

Principal at The Adaway Group

Talks about #training, #inclusion, #racialequity, #racialjustice, and #diversityandinclusion

Danielle Coke

https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellecoke/

Activism Through Illustration | Social Justice Advocate & Founder of Oh Happy Dani

Talks about #art, #dei, #justice, and #activism

I encourage you to go ahead and follow these courageous innovators who are saying the hard things. I’m grateful for all of their work as it has deeply influenced and inspired my own and I’m honored to continue to spread their respective messages and help to amplify their voices. 

Job searchers often seek me out for a few reasons:

1. To connect them with recruiters.

2. To send them tons of job listings that are relevant for them.

3. To tell them which type of role is the exact right choice for them.

It’s understandable that they would want all of these things. I mean, haven’t we been taught with any problem – seek out a guru who has all the answers and can tell us what to do?

There’s just one itty bitty snag with this approach. I don't do any of that.

Going straight to the tactical work of job searching based on what somebody else told you is right for you, will leave you going after roles that are on someone else’s agenda.

Either you won’t get them because you have a hard time feigning interest in the interviews – or perhaps worse – you will get one and think to yourself…”how the f*ck did I get here” on day one.

Instead, I work with clients as a guide.

I share tools that help them reflect and tap into their own career desires.

I ask the right questions so they can find their answers.

I help them identify their terms and priorities so they can find roles and leaders and cultures that are on their own terms.

I say the hard AND compassionate truths about what I’m hearing and seeing as they share their fears and desires out loud.

I hold them accountable to stay on the path even when it’s hard, even when they’d prefer to think about any other thing rather than what’s next in their careers.

I am their cheerleader who helps them believe in themselves again, believe in the possibilities that are waiting for them, believe they are worthy of those possibilities.

Yes, I know the landscape of many industries so I have my own hypothesis of options and roles for you when we begin. But we don’t start our work there.

We start with you. Your agenda. Your goals.

We do the deep work of reconnecting with you – and then we make connections to in-demand roles and opportunities that align with who you are and what you want.

If you’re interested in learning more about 1:1 Coaching, feel free to check out my program and set up a complimentary 30-minute Zoom call.