Embracing Mistakes

Two weeks ago, I woke up on a Saturday to learn an email that I was supposed to send to 6 people, was sent to nearly 1000.

Gulp.

A few years ago I would have spent some QT in a shame spiral, wondering why I even bother with this entrepreneurial journey or marketing or building a community or [insert high stakes part of my life here].

But, instead I took some time to write an email apologizing and acknowledging what it feels like to make a mistake so publicly.

It felt honest and compassionate and human. All the ways I strive to show up for the people in my life. I wrapped it up by late morning and took a walk in the park.

I returned to the most beautiful responses flooding my inbox.

“Thank you for modeling how to move through making mistakes. I struggle with this!”
“This email is probably one of my favorite Rachel emails.”
“I love this and I love you.”

It made me realize how hungry we are to live in a world where we can make mistakes without punishing ourselves. How we can learn to do better and also be clear with our people.

It also reminded me of my gratitude for you and all you’ve seen me through over the years as we learn together.

I will never promise to be 100% perfect. Yet, I will always be 100% committed to this work, supporting you and breaking the cycle of expecting something from any of us that’s unattainable.

Ambition, to what end?

Lately I’ve been wrestling with the idea of ambition. While I’ve worked hard throughout my life, every time I’ve tried on the word ambition, it never seemed to fit.

In truth, it always smelled a bit like gaslighting.

At the heart of the American Dream, it’s the lore we tell and retell to justify long work hours at the expense of personal health, happiness and wellbeing.

So, when I hear some of my clients fear they’ve lost their ambition in the busyness of early parenthood or in the endlessness of the pandemic, I say…

Or…maybe you woke up to what’s important to you in your life right now, your true priorities.

Ambition, to what end?

For me, instead of ambition there’s…

Curiosity

Meaning

Impact

Creativity

Relationships

If you’re waking up to the fact that your ambition may be on someone else’s terms or definition of success, I invite you to think about how you can recalibrate so that you’re working toward what’s important to you.

For those of you who do connect with the word ambition…and no shade if you do.
I’m curious to hear what it means to you and how it works as a driver in your career and life.

The 'Always Be Learning' Approach to Careers

Often clients come to me feeling stuck and torn on what they should do next.

They may...

Have deep relationships at their current organization, but still have a gut feeling that it’s time to go.

Be bored and dragging their feet on doing that same task for the gazillionth time.

Be "quiet quitting." Phoning it in, waiting for a lightning bolt to strike them with an idea for what’s next .

Even as someone who is prone to epiphanies, I must admit – the idea for what’s next rarely arrives with the sudden impact of a lightning bolt. (Sorry to deliver such disappointing news!)

So, what’s missing for most of these clients who are in a stuck place?

Learning.

They’re not growing as leaders, picking up new skills, stepping into new industries, solving new hairy problems.

I often hear that they don’t like change and they’re risk averse so it feels safer to stay where they are.

But here’s the rub...

The very thing they fear is what will pull them out of their self-constructed box.

It’s the new, the change…and yes…even the risk that will be the ongoing fix.

With all this in mind, I like to take the "Always Be Learning" approach to careers. Rather than the harsh and critical Alec Baldwin monologue about it, I prefer to imagine a curious and joyful Ted Lasso dropping quotable gems to explain why it’s important and how it works.

And no, not Jason Sudeikis. I do mean Ted Lasso, because…maybe he’s real.

Even if you want to stay in your role in the next year, what is your plan for learning and growth? Sometimes it’s this plan that can make you fall back in love or even like with where you are right now.

And when you do know you’re ready for a next step, don’t only look for what you can learn in the beginning of the new gig. Make sure there is a path and a respect for ongoing learning and new opportunities within the role. That is what can make it a more sustainable and potentially longer term prospect for you.

What’s your ABL plan for this year? If up-leveling your leadership or a career change are a part of it, sign up for a Clarity Call here: rachelbgarrett.com/clarity

Healing will get you to the next chapter

I've been reflecting a lot lately on toxic leadership and its outsized impact on our respective careers and professional confidence.

It comes in many flavors…

The absent leader who leaves you hanging with no direction, nor support on the most controversial and challenging projects.

The micro manager who questions and disregards your insights and expertise.

The boss who uses a sharp tongue to chastise your every minuscule misstep.

While intellectually, we can wrap some compassionate context around these traumatic professional experiences to realize – we did our best in tough situations, with difficult people – the pain of the shame can continue to live within us, holding us back from taking our next big career moves.

As someone who has spent time in and out of therapy for much of my life in order to navigate the multiple traumas of my own childhood, I’m often drawn to the concept of reparenting for my healing.

The idea that, in adulthood, you can work to give yourself the love, the language, the boundaries, the safety you didn’t get in your childhood.

So, when I continue to hear fear emerge when clients are thinking about a next career move…

And it stems back to the traumatic moments at the hands of managers who didn’t handle relationships with care, who broke their trust, who said the mean and hurtful words, or worse took action against them without saying anything at all, I wonder…

How can we 'relead' ourselves toward healing?

What did I need to hear from my leader in that moment where I made a mistake?

How would I want to be recognized for a crisis I managed that nobody else would take on?

What could my leader say or do to make me feel included, like I belong here?

While releading won’t erase the pain, it can help you practice another way with yourself so that you naturally begin to practice that new way with the people and teams that you lead. Like reparenting, it could be a way of breaking an unhealthy cycle.

Knowing this new way is available to you, can both help you get clear on all you’re capable of for a new gig and know what you WILL NOT tolerate for your own leader. If the role checks all of your boxes EXCEPT your boss is a total a-hole – it’s a no go. Move right along.

I’d love to hear what you think releading could look like for you as you continue to move forward in your own careers.