Career Shift Blog
by Rachel B. Garrett
Clear is the new pretty
I received a beautiful compliment a few days ago and I’ve been thinking about it non-stop.
A new-ish client of mine had a few questions and she asked if we could jump on a quick call (outside of our regular session time) to discuss them.
Extra calls in between sessions are not included in my coaching program. I offer email support and Monthly Office Hours as a way to answer questions that fall outside of session time.
In my nearly nine years in business, this has come up a lot. And like most boundary setting exercises – this simple request has been a complex journey for me.
In the past when I’ve taken the call, in the name of over-delivering, the meeting is not brief and it in essence becomes a session. A session that I’m not being compensated for.
Full transparency – in these moments, I’ve felt resentment bubbling up within me.
It’s the same resentment my clients feel when people ask them for time to “pick their brain” on topics that are directly related to their expertise and their means of making a living.
When you’re a generous, giving human, it’s hard to say no. It just is.
That’s why, I don’t say no. I give options that work for my time and what I know it’s worth.
I responded back to the request, “Feel free to send your questions within an email or come into Office Hours on Monday where you can get answers from the group. I don’t jump on additional calls in between sessions.”
This brings me back to the best compliment ever.
In our next session, my client said “Thank you for your note about the extra call. You modeled what kind, clear boundary-setting looks like. And I needed to know that was possible.”
She tapped into something so important to me. The thing that gets me over the hurdle every time I still writhe in setting the boundary.
How am I ever going to coach clients on identifying and honoring their own boundaries if I am ignoring mine?
I’m holding my lines AND I’m sharing what it looks like to do so.
Not everyone will be this open and receptive to your boundaries – and that’s ok.
You should expect mixed reviews of agency and self-advocacy in our Patriarchal hustle culture. That’s not your problem, nor is it your responsibility to convince them of anything.
But the feeling of my clarity inspiring someone I admire to stand in her power is a lasting gift reminding me of my gratitude for this work.
5-min Networking Guide for Introverts
For most of my life I’ve considered myself a raging extrovert.
Yet, somehow the combination of pandemic life and middle age has prompted me to embrace my growing introverted side. In addition to recalibrating my social life because of my kaput party-stamina, it’s also brought me to a shift in how I approach networking.
And it’s this change in perspective and planning that has helped me truly appreciate and support my introverted clients in all of their networking endeavors.
So for all of you whose eyes just opened a little wider, here’s my…
5-min Networking Guide for Introverts
The “who”:
Prioritize one on one conversations over big events where you’re mixing with multiple people. That’s a lot of people-ing.
Wherever possible, choose people to connect with who you find energizing.
The “how”:
Choose a place to meet that is quiet, calm and not too crowded.
Make it easy for the other person to meet with you with a convenient time and place for them.
Do some research on the other person’s work, organization and career. Your research will show you value their time. And you can do it while you’re by yourself!
Be yourself in the meeting. Be open. Be honest. Be vulnerable. It takes a lot more energy to be someone else and when you’re yourself – you attract the right people and repel the wrong people.
Build in quiet, solo downtime before and after your conversation.
Don’t judge yourself for needing quiet, solo downtime before and after your conversation. You need what you need. It doesn’t mean anything negative about you.
The “what”:
Always have a goal for the conversation. There are hundreds of potential goals that you can get at with strategic questions. (What’s the culture like at your organization? How did you make your career transition? What’s your day to day like in your role?)
Start the conversation with some questions about the stuff of being human – family, weekends, vacations, etc.
Make sure you get to the goal by the halfway mark of the conversation. If you get through the whole meeting without discussing it, you both will feel like it was a nice talk, but neither of you got anything out of it.
Authentically appreciate the other person for their good work (see the research you did, above) and their willingness to take time to speak with you.
Send a thoughtful note after your meeting to follow-up on any to-do items that came up in the conversation and to deeply appreciate them.
That’s it.
It does take energy, but it doesn’t need to be complicated. You’ll click with some people and you won’t with others. When you don’t click – it’s not about you. It’s about the fit – and you can’t expect to fit with everyone.
I look forward to hearing how it goes when you take all of this guidance out for a spin.
You got this, introverts!
Deep Relationships Create Meaningful Careers
In 2021, I had a rough personal and business year. Funny how those two things usually line up. Personally, I lost a beloved family member–which for me brings up the many other losses in my past. And professionally–I was struggling to keep the business afloat. I was doing a lot of social marketing and trying to launch my groups multiple times a year…and something wasn’t clicking.
It came to a point at the beginning of 2022, when I thought about quitting my business and finding a full time job. While I was sending out resumes and networking toward this goal, I also decided to spend some quality time with my Clifton Strengths report to find some answers.
As is typical with my time spent revisiting my Clifton Strengths–I did find a nugget of truth. One that I’ve been nurturing for the past two years and has brought me the greatest success of my nearly three-decade (oof!) career.
My 2022 insight (that is still hard to say out loud–damn you, Patriarchy!):
My most powerful gifts lie within my ability to build and nurture deep, meaningful relationships.
In this newsletter and in person…
It’s impossible for me to stay on the surface for very long with people. I go there.
And my people, they’re game. They’re in. They stay for the long haul and we go deeper every time.
Everyone else…well, they run for their lives. They change the subject. They unsubscribe.
But truly, that’s ok. I don’t have time to remain on the surface. That’s not real life. Not mine, anyway.
So, in 2022 that translated to reconnecting with coach colleagues, therapists, mentors and former clients. Showing up and giving generously in communities that are important to me. And most importantly, spending more time with friends who energize me and truly see me as I am.
The sparky energy I felt for my work and the business results followed many-fold.
In 2023, I continued to focus my efforts on relationship-building by deepening my work with former and current clients. I created free Monthly Office Hours sessions so I could build community and connect people I respect and admire–so they can support each other. I also experimented with new group formats to learn more about what works and doesn’t for the relationships I want to build.
And here I am after year two of the big relationships project and I’m more alive in my work than ever before. It feels aligned with who I am and the change I want to bring into the world.
To quote psychotherapist, icon, visionary Esther Perel – “It is the quality of our relationships that will determine the quality of our lives.”
Our careers do not get an exemption from this rule.
The quality of our relationships will determine the meaning we find in our careers–and I’m excited to say this will be a new additional area of focus for me in my work in 2024.
I want to build a community where we have monthly discussions on all the many topics at the intersection of relationships and career.
Loneliness, boundaries, dealing with assholes, intergenerational communication, networking in your own way…the list is long.
In addition to monthly sessions there will be quarterly virtual networking facilitated by me.
Most important to me…
It will be human.
It will be vulnerable.
It will go deep.
It will welcome all genders.
And it will be less than $1000 for the year.
I’m still working through the details for a more official launch, but I want to put the word out to all of you who may not be in career transitions and are looking for a way we can work together.
If this sounds like something you’d want to learn more about, please click yes below to send an email my way.
Thanks for continuing to stick with me as I delve into some of the more difficult career topics.
I appreciate you and your commitment to finding meaning in your work.
What is career self-love?
Are you as exhausted as I am from the onslaught of Big January Energy?
The "you’re already behind, your weaknesses are holding you back " vibe?
Side note to the marketers on this: fear does not motivate people long term.
And to the organizational leaders: you can’t accomplish the entire year’s goals in January. So put away the six decks you’re working on concurrently. You’re burning out your people in week four of the new year.
How can we possibly sustain this pace?
As you may have noticed, I’ve been taking an intentionally different approach to January. One that interrupts the crushing messaging about all I need to change about myself and my business.
It’s unhelpful, unproductive and well…unfun.
While everybody else is Dry Januarying or New Year, New You’ing – I’m rounding out my Self-Love January – and it feels rebellious in all the best ways.
I’m writing down my energizing new ideas for the year AND I’m simply letting them percolate.
I don’t need to take action yet and force the ideas into the world before I’m ready. It feels grounding to give myself some time to let the ideas untangle themselves.
I’m meeting the Big January Energy in my people with calm and compassion. Modeling another way that comes from an inner knowing of what truly motivates me.
I’m building wide berths of buffer into my calendar.
I’m seeing heart filling friends and colleagues for coffee, lunch and REALLY chilly walks.
I’m respecting my body’s desire to hibernate on cold, dark winter nights. I’ll meet you for an evening in April.
My self-love January is mostly about self-trust and the belief that I know what’s best for me.
And it’s not anything you’re selling to make me better. I’m already pretty great.
I hope as we round out this month, we also say goodbye to all that’s already burning you out. And if not, we could make Self-Love February a thing too. I’m in if you’re in.